Under The Stars
by Suma Susaki
Summary: Four days alone with him... just him and me.' Edward makes the crucial decision that will decide Bella's fate. To change her, or to loose her for all eternity... Angst in later chapters. R&R please!
1. Diary Entry

Under The Stars 

**Ok… This is my first Twilight Fic, so be nice! I'm writing a Spirited Away fic, which seems to be going good, so I decided to write a Twilight Fic, seeing as the book was amazing. I've been sooo happy since I saw Twilight was added to Fanfiction. So of course, I _had _to add one of my own fics. I've been craving for more _Twilight _since I read it, and I can't wait until the next two books come out. **

**New Moon** **– Oct. 5, 2006 (WOW! THIS YEAR! WOOT!)**

Eclipse – NO DATE YET 

**Disclaimer: I in no way, shape, or form, own Twilight. Stephanie Meyer does… all credit goes to her. )**

– _**Chapter 1: Diary Entry –**_

I want him to change me. Desperately. Sometimes I want it so much that it's painful. Some times I dream he does. I dream we are at the prom again… outside on the bench. But right before he does… I wake up. Every time I do, Edward is there… in my windowsill, watching the stars. And every time… he asks me "What's wrong?" The first time I had the dream, I told him everything. From that night, I decided to tell him that I just couldn't sleep. Because that night… I was truly frightened by Edward.

-Flashback-

I gasped and sat up in my bed. I took a deep breath and tried to calm my racing heart.

"What's wrong?" I heard Edward ask. I glanced over at him. He was leaning against my window gazing at the stars- or at least he was. His eyes were on me now. I gave him a small smile and apologized.

"I just had a bad dream..." I said quietly wiping my forehead with my quilt. Edward sat down next to me and touched my cheek.

"Tell me." I took a deep breath, and thought over both of my choices. The first was to lie to Edward. I didn't like that plan all that much, but it was probably the better one. The other one was to tell the truth. I knew that he was going to be mad. Very mad. But he didn't like it when I kept things from him.

"I-I dreamed… t-that…" I trailed off, avoiding his eyes.

"Please tell me Bella…" he whispered, as if he was hurt that I couldn't trust him… which I'm sure he was. Edward rested his hand under my chin, and made me look into his eyes. They were full of the need to understand…

I gulped. But I couldn't stop myself any longer, for I had already begun.

"I dreamed that you changed me…"

Edward's expression confused me. It shifted from shock and slowly grew to anger.

"Bella..." he said in a low voice, his hand dropping to his lap. I watched him, worried that he was upset. "That won't happen."

I snorted, annoyed that he told me this again. I shifted my view away from him and stared at my desk for a while.

"Bella." Edward said turning me back toward him. "I will not allow you to be like me. It's not right."

I had to protest to that. "But, what about you? I want this so that i can be with you!"

"No!" Edward said, his voice getting quieter but harsher. "I will not allow you to be cursed as a monster for the rest of eternity just to be with me. It's not right."

"I wouldn't be cursed! As long as we're together, I don't care! The three days of pain fail in comparison if I can stay with you for eternity! _Forever! _I want, no _need_, to be with you!" I explained, gazing into his eyes, tears falling down my cheeks.

I saw Edward's eyes hardened. "No. I will _not _confine you to live in the dark, to live as a monster. Not for me. I'm not worth it Bella. I'm doing this for you and your safety. Can't you see that?" He whispered.

I stifled a sob. "No… don't _you _get it? I want this Edward… I don't care what I'll be labeled as…I-"

Edwards's eyes flashed with anger. "Damnit Bella. I said _no._" he growled, making me back away from him, eyes wide. I had never seen him like this.

"Edward…" I whispered, for I was to shocked to speak properly. He must have seen the fear in my eyes, because he was sitting farther up on my bed with me in his strong arms seconds later.

"Bella… I'm sorry. I just… I just get so frustrated with myself." His voice was soft now, it surprised me how fast his moods changed. I didn't trust myself to speak, my throat was closed from shock. Instead, I wrapped my arms around his neck, resting my head on his chest, while he followed, tightening his grip around my waist, and rested his cheek on the crook of my neck, allowing me to feel his sweet breath. We stayed like that for awhile… not wanting to move. Finally, I found my voice.

"It's my fault Edward… I'm the one who should be sorry. I've been pushing this on you for almost a month now… I… I just want to be with you… _forever_."

Edward released me, and held onto my face with both hands, staring into my eyes. His eyes were softer, but still hard… I sighed mentally. He's not going to give in… is he?

"I know Bella… I know." My eyes widened. "But I'm not going to make you suffer like I have…"

-End Flashback-

I guess it did end ok… but I still don't want a repeat. I sighed as I closed my diary. It was a little childish to keep one at this age… but it helped me think and sort out my thoughts. It's been almost 2 months since the Prom… and since that night. Only 1 month until senior year started up. I walked out of the bathroom, after putting the diary back into my bag. The Bathroom is the only place Edward won't follow me. I had asked for my morning human moment, and I had received it.

At the bottom of the stairs, Charlie was no where in sight. I remembered him telling me that he would be at some police convention for a couple days. That means just Edward and me. I smiled at the thought.

Speaking of Edward, I smelt food. His cooking skills had improved drastically. I walked into the kitchen to see him just putting eggs and bacon down on the table.

"Good Morning." He said, giving me the crooked smile that made me melt every time I saw it.

"Good morning Edward. What are we doing today?" I asked, as he pulled out the chair for me to sit. Then he went to sit in front of me, still smiling.

"Well… seeing as your dad left a note saying he's going to be gone for 4 days…" He trailed, watching my reaction. I tilted my head in confusion. Just where is this going?

"I want to spend them with you. Just you and me." He said, smile fading, eyes turning completely serious. I shuddered at the intensity of his stare. I nodded, smiling.

"Of course. What exactly do you have planned?"

"Eat Bella… I'll talk." I realized that I had ignored the food he had made. This almost reminded me of when we were in the restaurant in Seattle… the night when I first found out Edward's true identity. I nodded, eating some of the eggs.

"I went to the meadow last night while you were sleeping. Don't worry, it took only half an hour." He said, as he saw my eyebrow raise a fraction. "I set up a tent… and took up a bunch of camping things." He smiled as realization dawned on me. "Pack your things after your done eating… we're going camping."

­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­

**There you go everyone! Chapter one! I don't know how long this story is going to be, 2 or 3 chapters at the most. But you'll see why. I might keep going if I get enough reviews telling me to. ) Everything in this chapter is valuable information for the rest of this story, so don't forget it! I'll try to update again sometime in the next couple days. Thanks to my good friend Kaytoko who gave me some help when I got stuck with some parts in this first chapter. Aren't writer's blocks horrible?**

**Anyway… R&R People! The more reviews I get, the quicker I update! Those of you that have been reading my Spirited Away Fanfic, _Finding You,_ know that that is the truth. Happy Reading!**

**/Suma Susaki\**


	2. The Arival

Under The Stars 

By: Suma Susaki

Hey Everyone…. I'm sooo sorry that it took so long for this to get put up. I was having some issues with homework and school and stuff and never had the time to write it…. (sigh) so yah. Well… this is still in Bella's POV.

Disclaimer: ok… I don't, and unfortunately never will, own Twilight in any way, shape or form. All credit of ownership goes to the very talented Stephanie Meyer.

Chapter 2: The Arrival 

**Last time: **

"I went to the meadow last night while you were sleeping. Don't worry, it took only half an hour." He said, as he saw my eyebrow raise a fraction. "I set up a tent… and took up a bunch of camping things." He smiled as realization dawned on me. "Pack your things after your done eating… we're going camping."

**Now:**

After talking more about the camping trip, I went upstairs to pack, leaving Edward to clean up the kitchen. I was excited. That much was obvious. Four days alone with Edward, in the meadow I first saw him in the sun. I closed my eyes a sighed happily.

Upon reaching my room, I pulled out my bag and made sure my diary and my big t-shirt and baggy sweats were in it, before stuffing some summer clothes in as well. I had grown accustomed to the weather here in Forks, and the, once cool summer, is now very warm. I slipped on my tennishoes and threw in a pair of flip-flops into my bag also, before making my way down the stairs again.

Edward was at the bottom of the stairs waiting for me with his crooked smile on his lips. I smiled brightly at him and he held out his arms. I happily obliged, attempting to keep my bulgy bag out of the way. Edward rolled his eyes and lifted it over my head. He then flung the bag over his shoulder and swept me off my feet.

"Edward, not that I mind or anything, but I'm perfectly capable of walking." I said, awkwardly. Edward chuckled, before setting me back down. "We're already at the car anyway." I looked around. "Wow. Did you make sure everything was locked up?" I asked, curiously.

Edward smiled. "Of course." I smiled and got into the passenger seat, and noticed Edward already starting up the car. He smiled at me before reaching over and buckled my seatbelt. And like always, one hand lingered on y cheek, making my blush. No matter how many times he's done this, it still has the same effect on me.

Still smiling, he returned to his seat and drove off down the street. I sat back in my seat and smiled. 'Four days alone with him. Just him and me.'

"What are you thinking?" Edwards satin voice broke through my daydreaming.

"Oh…nothing really. Just about the next few days." I said, honestly. Edward studied my face for a moment, and after a few moments he smiled once again. One thing I had noticed recently was that he smiled a lot more.

Then, something crossed my mind. "Um, Edward?"

"Yes?"

Panic started to chime in. "How exactly are we getting to the meadow?" I had a really bad feeling that 'we' were going to run. Edward flashed a grin at me.

"Calm down Bella. You'll be fine. I'll make sure that no trees hurt you."

I glared at him pointedly, but it was mostly drowned out by my panic. "That's not all…"

Edward looked perplexed. "Then what is it?"

"Motion sickness." I said, glancing out the window.

Edward frowned a little. "Bella, we've already gone through this. Close your eyes." He said glancing at the road long enough to make the final turn before our stop.

"But you'll be carrying my bag as well!" I said, in a rush, using my hands to emphasize my point.

Edward rolled his eyes. "Come on. You think that'll be a big deal?" I hesitated. He was right, but I wasn't about to give up.

"But I'll seriously get sick!" I said. He was parking the Volvos now. He turned towards me and stared into my eyes.

"You won't get sick, and you won't run into a tree. What more is scaring you?" He asked, putting all his charm into his eyes.

My mind was flunking out on me again. I couldn't argue with him when he cheated like that. He flashed me a smile, knowing he had won, and leaned over to kiss my temple. Suddenly he was gone, and I found my door open. I got out of the car, and then he grabbed me and flung me over onto his back. I held his neck tight and wound my legs around his stomach.

"I have your bag… eyes closed?" Edward asked with a chuckled. I nodded into my arm. Then we were moving again. I had the feeling that we were gliding, but seconds later, I felt him stop. This surprised me, because usually I didn't know when we stopped.

"We're done?" I asked, peering out of my hiding spot. Edward smiled at me and pried me off of him.

"No. But we're almost there." He replied. I stared at my surroundings. We were in a small area by a flowing stream. "This is where we'll get you water." He stated, before walking swiftly towards another opening in the forest I hadn't noticed yet.

Edward motioned me over to him. Once at his side, we walked into the meadow where we would be staying for the next four days.

End Chapter 2: The Arrival 

Omg! Again-- sooo sorry it took so long to update. I've been in the hospital and didn't get to put this up for like a week. (cries) sorry! Not to much happened in this chapter… but I promise that it gets better!

Also… I've had a _major _brain blast for this story, and I'm almost done with chapter 3. So watch out for that! Some of you said you were disappointed because I originally thought this story would have only 2 or 3 chapters. Well… I was wrong. XD. This story will be longer. I can't say how long quite yet… just know that it will be more then 3 chapters.

Review everyone! It helps to write when I know people are reading and enjoying my stories! No flames please… they burn. (ouch) Constructive criticism is allowed.

Love!

Suma Susaki


	3. Under The Stars

Under the Stars

By: Suma Susaki

Hey Everyone! SOOO sorry that it's taken me _this _long to write this chapter… especially since I told you all that I would be done soon… (sigh) well… I ended up loosing the notebook I had this written in… and I'm the type of person who has to write the story down on paper before it can be typed up… so… in other words… I lost the entire 3rd chapter. I've also started writing 2 original stories; I'm trying to get them published. XD. Not an easy thing, believe me. So yeah….I'm sick from school today, so I decided to re-write it to the best of my abilities. So bear with me here. This chapter is Edwards POV… and I'm sorry if it's a little short… school is taking to much of my time to write long chapters anymore. But I'll try to update more! Oh… and for those who are asking… This Story is DEFINATLY going to be MORE than 3 chapters. :)

Special thanks to:

**Kaytoko- **yah yah… I know. Gosh Kay… here….

_THANK YOU KAYTOKO FOR HELPING ME WRITE ON THIS STORY WHEN I GET STUCK!_

Happy? lol...jk. luv!

**Samantha- **I'm sooo sorry it took so long to write this… but if you read the note above, you'll understand why. Hehe… Thank you for your review!

**Breaking.Benajmin- **Thank you! I'm glad that people actually like Under the Stars! I really don't think it's that great… and I believe its one of my worst writings in a long time. But thanks to reviewers like you, I keep going!

**Araemille- **lol… thank you also! I'm going to try to write more and update more often, but it's going to be difficult for me. Seeing as it's the last semester of the school year, and teachers like to freaking pile up the homework until your bone dry during the last quarter… (cries) Boy that sucks, huh? So yeah… I'm trying. Thanks for your review!

**Waterandsky04- **lol… short and sweet review, huh? Jk… I do that sometimes too. Thanks for reviewing!

**Dragoismyhero- **Well, I'm updating! W-o-w, huh? lol

**Afallenblackrose- **Well… chapter 3 _was _almost done… then I had to go and loose my notebook…. Gosh. lol… Hope you like this chapter!

**Brii-yanna- **I'm happy that your liking it! I really am! It makes me enthusiastic to know that I have readers who like what I'm writing. Thank you for the review! They help me write!

**Shay Bo Bay- **Yes I was in the hospital. I had tumors removed last year and they decided to come back on me… but all is good now! They gave me these pill things to get rid of them! So I'm back! Thank you for your concern and interest in this story! Happy Reading!

**Hellish Red Devil- **Thank you for your concern about the whole Hospital thing. If you read the above thanks, you'll see what happened exactly. XD I'm too lazy to type it out again. lol… But anyway, yes, after I posted the last chapter, I noticed the spelling/grammatical errors too. I was in a rush to post the chapter before I went to church and not have any time for about another week to update… but as you can see, I'm back updating and I'm going to go s l o w this time. lol Thanks for the Review!

**Fluff Freak- **Well… here it is! Hope you like it:)

**Bestsecretbiggestregret- **lol… interesting is it? Hmm… Hehe… thanks for the review! Here is chapter 3!

THANK YOU ALL:) I was thinking about quitting this story for awhile, but then I came back and read all of your lovely reviews and just couldn't! This chapter is dedicated to everyone who helped me come back! HAPPY READING! Lol

**Last time:** Edward motioned me over to him. Once at his side, we walked into the meadow where we would be staying for the next four days.

**Chapter 3: Under the Stars**

Edwards POV

People always stare at the stars when their confused about something, right? Confused about things that are going on in their life or something life changing… Then why am _I _the one staring at them right now. I'm not confused about anything… am I? Why have I taken to them since the Prom? I sighed. I already know the answer… deep down anyway. That's why I brought Bella out to the meadow with me. I have to confront her sometime with this… decision.

"I guess I'll tell her tomorrow… we'll go for a walk." I mumbled, staring at the for once cloudless sky.

"_Love…you… Edward…"_ I smiled. She's talking in her sleep again.

I got up off the dew covered grass were I was star gazing, and went back inside the tent. I decided to watch her for awhile… she's much more beautiful than a million stars anyway.

Once inside the tent, I sat down on the overly large sleeping bag. When I did, I felt something hard and uncomfortable under it. Getting up again, I reached under the blankets and such till I found a diary with **_"Bella's Diary"_** written on it.

Wait… Bella keeps a diary? My curiosity got the better of me. Bella hardly ever tells me exactly what she's thinking… maybe if I look in here, I'll get a better idea.

I started from the beginning. The first one was when she first came to Forks. I laughed silently as I noticed _"It's to green here… I miss Arizona so much."_ Written several times on the first few pages. Then I saw my name. Of course she would write about me… but I was still curious as to _what_ she would write about me.

_Today was my first day at Forks High School. I made some new friends… but I've already forgotten their names. Is that sad or what? Anyway…There is a boy in a few of my classes. I've been told he's real popular in Forks. His dad is supposed to be some big shot doctor, who's adopted him and the rest of his 'family'. Hah! But anyway, I was talking with Jessica-wait! That's one of my new friend's names! Go me! - about him, because he was acting really weird in an earlier class I have with him, which I might add I have to sit right next to him! He wouldn't even talk to me! He froze on the spot and shunned me like I wasn't worth his eyes! What a jerk! Anyway… that's really all for now. Till next time, -Bella-_

I laughed at this, even though it was _me _she was talking about. Sounds just like my Bella. I flipped a few more pages, I didn't think I could handle all of the tonight, so I just went to the last 2 entries.

One was dated from today, or yesterday I guess since it's probably more then 4 in the morning. And the other was from the day before, when I first told her about the camping trip. I read the one from today first.

_Well Diary, Edward and I arrived at the Meadow today. It's still as amazing as ever. Four days alone with him. He has to have something planned. He's been a little more tense then usual. Edward… what am I going to do with you? -Bella-_

I sighed. So she had noticed huh? Well, later today she'll understand why I have been. Turning back a page, I read what would change my insight on our relationship.

_Hello faithful listener. Charlie bought me a new CD the other day. He said "I don't know why, but it stuck out at the store and it screamed your name. I had to get it for you." At first I laughed and took it, but once I started to listen to it, it reminded me a lot about Edward and me. Here are the lyrics to one of the songs:_

………………………………………………………………………………

_I wonder how I ever made it through a day  
How did I settle for a world in shades of gray  
When you go in circles all the scenery looks the same  
And you don't know why and I looked into your eyes   
Where the world stretched out in front of me and I realized_

I never lived before your love  
I never felt before your touch  
I never needed anyone to make me feel alive  
But then again, I wasn't really living  
I never lived, before your love

I wanted more than just an ordinary life  
All of my dreams seemed like castles in the sky  
I stand before you and my heart is in your hands  
And I don't know how I survived without your kiss   
'Cause you've given me a reason to exist

_I never lived before your love  
I never felt before your touch  
I never needed anyone to make me feel alive  
But then again, I wasn't really living  
I never lived, before your love_

_And I don't know why  
Why the sun decides to shine  
But you breathed your love into me just in time_

_I never lived before your love  
I never felt before your touch  
I never needed anyone to make me feel alive  
But then again, I wasn't really living  
I never lived, before your love_

………………………………………………………………………………

_I love that song. I've listened to it more times then I can count. I wish Edward would just realize that I love him enough to want him to change me… I don't care about the pain that goes along with becoming a vampire and living as a vampire… as long as I can be with him for eternity, I could care less._

_I want him to change me. Desperately. Sometimes I want it so much that it's painful. Some times I dream he does. I dream we are at the prom again… outside on the bench. But right before he does… I wake up. Every time I do, Edward is there… in my windowsill, watching the stars. And every time… he asks me "What's wrong?" The first time I had the dream, I told him everything. From that night, I decided to tell him that I just couldn't sleep. Because that night… I was truly frightened by Edward._

I was shocked to say the least. She was…frightened of me? I continued on and read through her telling of what happened that night, and grimaced.

_I guess it really is my fault for him getting so mad at me whenever I bring up that subject. I've been pushing it on him for the past month or so. I just want to be with him forever… And I told him so. His expression had softened when I did… and he told me, in a way that I will **never** forget, "I know Bella… I know. But I'm not going to make you suffer like I have…" I was shocked… he wants to change me… so we **can **stay together for eternity. I stopped arguing with him about it that night… I went into "time for Bella to have deep thoughts" mode, and ended up falling asleep. I guess it did end ok… but I still don't want a repeat. I hate it when we fight… I love him to much… I just wish he'd wake up and realize that this is what I want… and it's what's best for the both of us. -Bella-_

I closed the diary and put it back under the sleeping bag before I walked back outside. Sitting right back down on the dew wet grass and turning my attention to the stars again, I sighed.

"If only she knew…"

**End chapter 3- Under the Stars**

………………………………………………………………………………

Sooooo…. Whatcha think? Good? Bad? Constructive criticism allowed, Flames are not. Sorry once again for the late update! Sorry it's so short! I'm trying to update both of my stories right now, and I really had to end it right here. As I said earlier, MORE THAN 3 CHAPTERS!

**R&R people!**

/Suma Susaki\


	4. Brain Vs Heart

**Under the Stars**

Suma Susaki

Hey Everyone! Yah… I pretty much SUCK huh? I haven't updated since… I don't know…. 2 or 3 months ago? School ended about 2 weeks ago, and yet I still haven't written anything for Under the Stars. I can't think of anything… so suggestions are plenty welcome! And believe me, I'm not like those other fan fiction authors who ask for suggestions and don't take them. I _will _read them _all_ and pick what I think I can write best, or what the majority of you want in the story.

Also… if you all read my authors note…. I DO have to have surgery, but they moved it to not this week, but the week after that… that Tuesday… and it'll take a couple weeks to get better after that. So please bare with me here. Ok? Hopefully I can update once more before then. (smiles)

Anyway… sorry that this is going to be a long starters note and hopefully a long chapter!

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Thank you everyone for reviewing and leaving me encouraging comments! Much love to you all! (smiles)

_SUPER THANKS TO Kyo-K40-Sohma FOR HELPING ME WITH THIS CHAPTER AND FOR KICKING ME INTO HIGH GEAR TO WRITE WHEN I DIDN'T FEEL LIKE IT! **Kyo-K40-Sohma **has some amazing stories people… and barely anyone reads them, and if they do, almost nobody reviews. Please go and read her stories, review and make her happy! Pretty please? Because I updated? btw… **Kyo-K40-Sohma** has accepted an offer of being the co-author for **Under the Stars**, so please read her work. Some of what you read on here from now on will be from her also. If you like what you see here, which I know you all do/will… do us both a favor and go read her stories. _

Disclaimer: I do not own TWILIGHT… if I owned TWILIGHT, I would have the entire population of "twilight freaks" attacking me. Oh… and I would be happy for once…. (Sigh)

Btw… this is Bella's POV and switches to Edwards POV

**_CHAPTER 4: Brain Vs. Heart_**

The sun was just peaking over the horizon as I opened my eyes. I closed them again quickly, as the light blinded me. Sitting up, I rubbed my eyes, and opened them again. This time I could see without wincing. Looking around me, I noticed Edward wasn't in the meadow.

Slowly, I dragged my half awake body in all my weary glory to my feet and headed for the trees where I heard a splash of water. I was than greeted by a lake that the stream where I get my water flows into. That's when I saw him sitting down by the water, skipping stones. I mentally sighed and took another step and stopped, realizing how much I wanted to observe him. The sun made him sparkle like it had when he first showed me in the clearing I had just left. How marvelously gorgeous it makes him look.

When I looked at him more closely, I could see a serious look in his eyes from this distance. He was thinking deeply about something...

"Bella… why don't you just come and sit with me. I know your watching." He smirked as the wind blew my hair in my face.

"I'm not here… what are you talking about?" I said in a whisper, hiding behind the tree.

Edward chuckled slightly and turned his head to face almost directly in my direction. His eyes met mine gently and I could see him quietly sigh as he whispered my name, and then he finally spoke loud enough for me to hear him,

"Just come over here why don't you. Just because I'm like a diamond under a flashlight doesn't mean I can't hear you moving around…not to mention smell your luscious scent…"

"You can only hear the wind in the trees, and only smell the flowers of the meadow. There is no Bella here." I smiled, making my voice sound faint.

I heard Edward chuckle from where he was sitting, and the next second I found his cool breath on my neck and his arms around my waist.

"If we were playing hide and seek, I think I just won…" Edward smiled against my throat. It took all my strength not to turn around in his arms and kiss him.

He kissed my throat again and the uncontrollable urge to pull his head up and kiss him on the lips became more unbearable. Edward smiled against my neck again and I whispered gently, heart practically pounding out of my chest,

"I don't know...why you'd kiss a tree like this..." I tried to giggle but he being so close to me made it come out as a small breath.

Edward turned me around in his arms, and looked into my brown eyes with his amazing ocher eyes. He was smiling the amazing crooked smile again, and I felt my insides melt. The need to kiss him was becoming so much more urgent.

"This tree is so amazingly gorgeous; I simply can't resist kissing it." He said, becoming completely serious. As we stared into each others eyes, his showed many emotions. Love, need, and…. lust. That alone made me blush. I looked down trying to hide it from him, even though I knew he saw and felt it. He put his fingers under my chin, and tilted my head back up for my eyes to meet his once again. His facial expression showed that he was still serious, as he leaned in closer to me and put both his hands on the sides of my face. My heart was pounding so hard by now; all of Forks could probably hear it.

"I love you, Isabella…" Edward whispered, almost inaudibly.

"I love you too, Edward." I said before his lips met mine. It took all my will power not to tempt him. All I could do was stand there and not respond the kiss. I hated not being able to satisfy the need I have towards him… if he would just open his eyes and change me, it would make _everything _so much easier for the both of us.

"Bella…." Edward groaned against my lips, "Kiss me back…. Oh dear lord, please kiss me back…."

My eyes shot open in surprise, but I fully obliged. I kissed him back with all the need, passion, and love I could muster. This feeling was completely extra-ordinary. And I never wanted it to end.

Edward pushed me back into the tree, our bodies fully pushed up against each other. I moaned as his lips left mine and started to kiss up my jaw, under my ear, and around my neck, speedily. He suddenly pulled away and held me tight in his iron arms. I must have forgotten to breathe, because the second he pulled away, I was gasping for breath.

After a few minutes of being in Edwards arms, my breathing regulated. Edward grabbed me by my shoulders and pushed me away until he could look into my eyes. The same emotions from earlier were swirling around in his eyes, that were now a dark gold… he was looking hungrily, but at me.

"Edward? Did we go too far? Are you alright?" I asked, worried that I had tempted him to much for him to control the "monster within". Edward shook his head, closed his eyes, and sighed.

"I'm fine… don't worry about me. That was the most amazing kiss Bella…" he opened his eyes once more, deep gold looked met brown, and everything around us faded.

Edward smiled his crooked smile, when my heart started to beat madly again.

"C'mon… it's almost noon. Let's get some breakfast into you." Suddenly, my stomach growled. I blushed. I never noticed how I hungry I was until now. I nodded and followed him back towards the meadow.

I slowly walked across the meadow with Edward, my heart fluttering wildly as we approached our little camp. It was amazing how strong of an affect he has on me, but that comes with loving someone so gorgeous… and vampiric. He was staring off blankly as we stopped at the camp and I just admired his beauty for a moment before looking at the floor. I felt my face burning. "Sheesh…I'm blushing again," I whispered faintly under my breath.

Edward looked at me softly and grinned. "Hey…let's… start that hike. I think I can avoid sparkling a little better if trees surround me." He said quietly, appearing by my side in an instant. Grr… I thought, I hate when he does that…it scares me sometimes…sorta… "So…how about it, Bella?" Edward tilted his head and stared at me, awaiting my response.

I nodded slowly and smiled quickly, feeling my cheeks cool down a little. "Sure thing. But what about that breakfast?"

Edward was gone from my side in an instant, and after a few seconds, was right back in front of me, holding a cherry pop-tart box in his hands and had an amused smile on his face.

I rolled my eyes, as I pulled my shoes on. "Pop-tarts, Edward?"

"What's wrong with Pop-tarts? This way, you can eat on the hike…" he explained to me, pulling out one of the 2 packs.

"I guess so…. Thanks, Edward." I smiled, and tore open the package. So hungry…

Edward started to walk to a bunch of trees, and pushed some branches aside, allowing a tiny trail to be shown. I followed him, when he waved for me, and we set out on a nice walk through the woods.

It was beautiful. The sun coming through the tree's and making Edward sparkle in different places. I couldn't help but stare at him. Could I ever get used to his beauty?

I tore my gaze from his sparkling body long enough to take in our surroundings.

Different types of flowers and amazing plants were _everywhere._ I'm sure if you told me a year or so ago that I would have the most amazing boyfriend in the world and enjoy _green _in the environment… I would have laughed in your face and told you that you were crazy.

I laughed at the thought, and Edward turned around to look at me. He slowed down a bit, and grabbed my hand. I smiled up at him and him down to me. We walked in silence for awhile before he broke the comfortable silence.

"You were scared of me that night when you told me you had a dream of me… _changing _you… weren't you?" he had a sad glint in his eyes, but his facial expression was unreadable.

I was shocked… where had _this_ come from?

"What? Edward… I-"

"Please don't lie to me Bella." He pleaded, stopping in his tracks and turning me to face him.

I searched his eyes for a moment, and saw him turn completely serious once again today. Was this what he was thinking about at the lake this morning?

"Were did this come from, Edward? That was almost 2 months ago..." I whispered, generally confused.

Edwards's eyes softened a bit, and he pulled me into his arms, holding me close.

"I've been thinking about his a lot lately… I saw it in your eyes Bella. That night… you were afraid of me… I don't _ever _want you to be afraid of me… I shouldn't get mad at you when I ask you what you're thinking or ask you what's wrong…" His voice grew softer, and he held me closer to his body. I wrapped my arms around his waste and laid my head down on his chest.

"I wasn't scared of you… the only thing I was scared about was the fact that you were practically saying that you didn't want me in your life for eternity… that changing me isn't worth having each other forever… that's all I've _ever _feared, Edward. Not you… _never _you. I swear…" I said it immediately. No editing. I pulled away from him and looked into his eyes after a few minutes of him not responding to me.

His eyes surprised me. They held a battle in them. Between his brain and his heart.

**_End Chapter 4: Brain Vs. Heart_**

_I hope you liked it you guys! This one took a few days… lol. I had a hard time with some of this chapter…. Hehe. XD_

_Anyway… constructive criticism? Advice? Suggestions to where this story should go? All suggestions will be looked at! _

_Thank you all for being so patient with me! Suma Susaki is B A C K ! _

_Luv to you all!_

_**:Suma Susaki:**_

**_and_**

**_:Kyo-K40-Sohma:_**


	5. Forbidden Fruit

**Under the Stars**

Suma Susaki

&

Kyo-K40-Sohma

Hey Everyone! The surgery went well! And I'm back! Thank you all for your support:)

REVIEW THANKS!

(I should have PMed you and if I didn't, let me know and I'm SORRY!)

**_Kyo-K40-Sohma, _FickshonalSeraphynWhite Mask Black Eyes TwitrekAwesome all the timeAnivanchick77PassionfornightYour Gothic LullabyFuoco AnneritoTwilight xx3Hellish Red DevilCrazyDreamerGirl, Afallenblackrose, Kaytoko and Vampiress Yugure**

Disclaimer:  
WE NO OWNY TWILIGHT BY STEPHANIE MEYER! IF WE DID WE WOULD BE FREAKING RICH AND HAVE YOU ALL AS OUR BIGGEST FANS!

Plus, would we be writing on fan fiction if we were an author to anything? We'd be to flipping busy with our books! XD

Anyways, here's chapter 5! **BELLA'S POV!**

**CHAPTER 5: The Forbidden Fruit**

**_LAST TIME: _**

_I've been thinking about this a lot lately I saw it in your eyes Bella. That night, you were afraid of me. I don't ever want you to be afraid of me. I shouldn't get mad at you when I ask you what you're thinking or ask you what's wrong." His voice grew softer, and he held me closer to his body. I wrapped my arms around his waist and laid my head down on his chest._

_"I wasn't scared of you the only thing I was scared about was the fact that you were practically saying that you didn't want me in your life for eternity that changing me isn't worth having each other forever, that's all I've ever feared, Edward. Not you, never you. I swear." I said it immediately. No editing. I pulled away from him and looked into his eyes after a few minutes of him not responding to me._

_His eyes surprised me. They held a battle in them. Between his brain and his heart._

_**Now:**_

Suddenly…it was all silent. No birds were chirping, the wind stopped blowing, and it seemed to grow dark in a matter of seconds.

Edward's eyes were pained. I'm sure he had come to a conclusion… and that the battle was over. We just starred at each other for a few minutes, before he moved away from me. He was gone in an instant.

I looked around me in a panic. "EDWARD!" Did he leave me like he promised me he wouldn't? I fell down to the ground… starring at nothing. "Why did you leave…?"

I heard a sad chuckle behind me, and I stood up and turned around quickly. Too quickly though. The ground pulled me to it, and I closed my eyes. I felt two iron arms wind themselves around me, and I stopped moving towards the earth. I looked up to see the still troubled eyes of Edward.

"Typical Bella…" he said, pulling me closer to him. I hugged him tightly, my heart pounding. He didn't leave me…

"You didn't leave me…" I breathed, and held him tighter.

"Of course not… I don't think I could ever leave you." He whispered in my ear, his breath going down my neck. A thrill of excitement flew down my spine. But one thing was bugging me…

"Than why won't you change me, Edward? It's what we both want… and need." I said, pulling away from him and looking at the ground once again. I only looked up once when Edward sighed and started to walk to a nearby tree. I then saw him reach up, and pull something from the branches, before I turned my attention back to the ground.

Edward walked back towards me, and stopped when I was in reach of him. I kept my eyes to the ground though. I knew he would be angry with me, and I didn't like to see that emotion in his eyes. I was confused though when he moved closer to me and kissed my neck from my ear, down to my collarbone. He pulled away then, and I looked into his eyes. This time, they were… worried. Wait… worried?

"Bella…" he started, and out of nowhere, an apple appeared in his hands. Was this what he picked out of that tree? "The eternal and forbidden fruit...you want to become a monster so badly... bite this and show me that you give up mortality…" he handed me the apple, and looked me straight in the eyes. "I'll meet you back in the meadow." And than he was gone.

I stared at the apple, startled by his words. I began to whisper calmly to myself, "Give up…mortality… The forbidden fruit… This is really deep, huh?" I felt so dumb now, asking myself questions like this. Duh. I want to be with him forever. Forever. "Forever…" I mumbled out loud this time. "That sounds like such a long time…" glancing at the apple, I rolled it around, back and forth between my hands. "Well of course…forever is a long time…it's forever…but would it become boring to me? Oh God…I never had second thoughts like this before…why am I getting like this now!" I was angry with myself. How stupid I was to hesitate! Especially –of all times- when he is giving me the actual choice. _Yes _or_ No._

The apple was bright red, just as if it was painted right in the middle of my palm with a true red color. _Sheesh… putting the pressure all on me..._ I sighed gently and continued to roll the apple around in my hands. I lifted it to my lips and opened my mouth. My teeth were ready to drop into the skin of the apple.

The juice of the apple leapt into the air and I stared at it, utterly satisfied with my choice. "Now…to find lover boy…" I smiled a wide one and placed the apple in my camping bag. Slowly, I took small steps toward the direction I was confident that Edward had gone off in. I turned my head to the left; nothing, not even a small critter. Then, I shifted to the right completely; just a few trees and that's it. "EDWARD!" I bellowed, spinning in circles trying to catch a glimpse of someone.

He merely appeared and put his hand on my head to stop my uncontrollable spinning, I was too dizzy to stop myself to be completely honest. "So…what is your choice?" he tilted his head like he were some curious dog. So much for trying to act uninterested on his part…

I shook my head to get rid of any signs of dizziness then reached back into my bag and pulled out the apple. He pulled it from my hand –more like snatched it actually- and examined every inch of it like a scientist would observe a new species. Edward was looking at the spot where there was a chunk missing. He sighed gently and gave the apple back to me, which I stuffed quickly back into my bag to avoid his further inspection.

"I see you really do want to be a monster, huh? Wasting your life like this…" he looked at the ground and he scuffed his shoes up a little, pretty uncharacteristic of him if I may say so. "Wasting it all just to live for an eternity… fine. Tomorrow …during… um… twilight." He leaned against a tree and looked at me as if he was calm. What a liar. He despised the fact that I wanted to be just like him. But…he always says he wants to be with me forever… that's impossible to achieve…unless, of course, he changes me!

The both of us began walking up a hill where we set up a new camp. "So much for a hike," I mumbled, sighing just slightly. I guess he just thought it'd be nice to be in a clearing, to know when twilight is or something. Edward, however, after camp was completely set, he just left me to sleep. Who knows where that boy went. So, taking advantage of the time I have alone, I pulled out my journal and began to write a new entry.

I found myself finished up much sooner then I had expected and therefore jammed my journal back into my bag. Dragging out my sleeping bag, I slip myself into it and fall asleep instantly.

**x Edward's POV x**

I came back to the new camp only to find Bella sleeping already. Sighing calmly, I spot her bag out just beside her sleeping bag, instead of it being with the rest of the stuff. Walking over to put it away, I lift it and watch her journal drop to the soil beside my feet. Unable to resist, I found myself flipping to the newest entry and reading it.

**Woo! There is the new chapter. We finally got it finished! W00tness. So sorry for the shortness! **

**Kyo-K40-Sohma: **_I didn't type the kissing scene in the previous chapter that was Suma! Lol. Just cause I'm co-author doesn't mean I'm going to change how things happen. I only gave a few suggestions for chapter four, which were used before the kissing scene and long after that. Lol. I did write at least half of this one though, so if there is something you don't like in the second half of this chapter…feel free to blame me._

**Suma Susaki: **_Sorry everyone! She's right! (coughcoughKAYTOKOcoughcough) XD_


	6. Falseness & Indecision

**Under the Stars**

**-Suma Susaki-**

**-Kyo-K40-Sohma-**

**_Hey Everyone! Thank you all for the reviews! They rock! We haven't had ONE negative review for this story… only if you count the fact that you all hated the cliffhanger… XD_**

**_Disclaimer: WE DON'T OWN TWILIGHT! There… we said it. (sobs)_**

**_Review thanks!_**

**-Abbey123-**

**_Suma: Thank you! It took awhile to figure out how we could bring it into the story… glad you like how it ended up:)_**

**_Kyo: Thanks! Glad you liked our idea_**

**-Savana-**

**_Suma: lol… I'm glad you like Under the Stars. It has been a lot of fun to see everyone's reactions to what is written on this story… I'm glad you're enjoying it as much as we are writing it. _**

**_Kyo: W00t! Well the story is definitely feeling the love! And! We updated really quick this time I think._**

**-****Your Gothic Lullaby-**

**_Suma: Yah… sorry about the whole not being able to do a signed review… chapter 5 had originally been an authors note… and if you had reviewed to that, it wouldn't let you. So sorry. I'm happy you liked the apple being brought into the last chapter. Kyo and I had had that planned for a couple chapters now. Hopefully this chapter is longer for you… thanks for reviewing! _**

**_Kyo: I'm sorry it didn't let you leave a signed review ; Thank God we've actually planned a little ahead! Thanks for the compliments on our writing! And once again, I'm glad you liked our idea with the apple._**

**-Midnight 1987-**

**_Suma: lol… you're just going to have to wait to see, huh? Thanks for the review! Hope to see you again this chapter. :)_**

**_Kyo:_ Yeah! It is mean! Shame on Edward! lol.Thanks!**

**-me- **

**_Suma: Wow… what an interesting name you have… XD Thank you for the review! _**

**_Kyo: What Suma said…. -.-_**

**-Katie1122-**

**_Suma: 0.o… bite us? (runs) XD Thank you for the review… here's that update! _**

**_Kyo: Me sorry! Thank god u were just kidding about the biting thing,lol. Hey! see! lookie! We updated _**

**-Kaypgirl-**

**_Suma: lol… I hate cliffhangers too… but we updated fast this time! (dances) _**

**_Kyo: yeah...cliffhangers are mean...but they make ya think I'm happy to see you loved the previous chapter._**

**-Bitemecold-**

**_Suma: oh my gosh… I love your name… so cool! hehe… well… you're just going to have to wait some more.. sorry! Thanks for the Review! _**

**_Kyo: w00t! Well here's the 'next' chapter,lol. Your review was probably my fav! I was actually mentioned in it with a note of 'positivity' For that I thank you! Your review definitely helped me type this chapter!_**

**-flippin sweet Twilight lover-**

**_Suma: Thank you! I'm glad you like our writing… :)_**

**_Kyo: Thanks! We write as well as we can. _**

**-Hellish Red Devil-**

**_Suma: yay for creativity! XD… I loved your review. I'm glad you like this story… we've, kyo and I, have been trying so hard to get reviews like yours. :) Thank you for the reviews! Hope to see you again this chapter. _**

**_Kyo: W00t! Everyone seemed to love our apple idea! Yay! Edward's a very interesting fellow... and unable to resist reading Bella's journal, lol. Thanks for the review!_**

**_And last but not least…_**

**-Fluff Freak-**

**_Suma: lol… I really didn't notice that until you some of the reviewers (and you) said that. Lol… oops? Kyo and I were both really tired when we wrote the last chapter… sorry! But… I'm glad you liked it despite that. XD Thanks for the review! _**

**_Kyo: I'm really sorry about the 'um'! It just kinda slipped out as I was typing! At least you still enjoyed the chapter. Thanks! _**

**(Hands all reviewers brownies, cookies, and cake) Thank you! **

**Sorry if we missed any of you! Let us know if we did… It was a little confusing doing this… the reviews from the authors note (which was originally in the spot of Chapter 5) were mixed with the actual reviews for the actual chapter 5. Did that make any sense? Not here either… XD **

**And so here's chapter 6 everyone! Enjoy and please review! **

**Chapter 6: Falseness & Indecision**

**Last time: **

I came back to the new camp only to find Bella sleeping already. Sighing calmly, I spot her bag out just beside her sleeping bag, instead of it being with the rest of the stuff. Walking over to put it away, I lift it and watch her journal drop to the soil beside my feet. Unable to resist, I found myself flipping to the newest entry and reading it.

**Now:**

_**x Edward's POVx**_

I skipped the pages I had read after I discovered her fear. Now, once again I found myself reading into her thoughts, well, at least the ones that she had written down. If I can't know what she is thinking by looking into her mind, then this will have to do. There were two new pages since the last time I checked her notebook, but I decided to read the most recent one, which was dated as this current day. My hand began to shake, with shock, or was it anger as I read her words on paper.

'_Dear Diary,_

_It seems that Edward is finally going to change me. After all of my begging and constant talking of it, he's given in. He tested me by giving me an apple? Silly…I know. But he said it symbolizes the forbidden fruit, or something of the sort. My choice was to bite it and accept that I will live forever, looking the same forever, remaining unchanged. Or… I could choose to not bite it and remain a human, aging after each day, week, month, and year._

_I feel terrible for tricking him the way I did. I'm completely shocked that he didn't realize it as he over-analyzed the apple that he deemed the forbidden fruit. The chunk that was missing wasn't from a bite…'_

I quickly stopped and looked over the book, staring at Bella as she sleeps calmly. The anger and stun that ran through my veins was nothing I was proud of. She practically lied to me… I sighed under my breath, trying to calm myself at least a little, and continued reading.

'_I didn't bite it at all to be honest… I used my fingers to tear at the spot where I was about to bite, and it wasn't such a great idea after the apple's juice stuff sprayed me in the eyes. When I finished, I knew it was a terrible thing to do, but it would at least get Edward to change me. I know I wanted to be just like him and to stay with him forever, but for some reason, just showing that I admit that… well… I couldn't actually bite it and prove it. _

_Twilight… I'll tell him everything after he changes me… that way he doesn't have a chance to make up his mind or anything…'_

My eyes couldn't help but blink continuously, not even my strength could prevent its rapid fluttering.

"Who knows how many times she has lied to me because I don't know what she's thinking…" I glanced up after speaking and looked at her, folding her notebook shut. Finally, I decided to put the book right back into her bag and tossed it with the rest of the stuff that she or I had brought.

I dragged myself toward a tree, a good distance from Bella, but still in the small camp that we made. I took a deep breath, just like the ones that make me appear to be human, and stared at Bella.

"She doesn't really want to be alive forever…as much as she says she does… it's…more like she just wants me to change her already before she has the chance to admit it to herself…" my voice shook a little as anger began brewing.

Bella tossed a little in her sleep as always, but I merely shook my head. I had to concentrate on the task that will be put upon me at twilight. Do I decide to change her even though she is full of indecision or do I actually admit to reading her personal journal without her permission? Well, one thing was for sure, I was definitely not going to tell her what I did; otherwise, she'll hate me as much as I am annoyed with her. I'll have to give myself a couple more choices I guess… or I can do just what she did to me. Lie.

Compulsively, I got to my feet and went back to her bag, pulling the journal back out and hurrying back to the river I was sitting at the other day. I honestly couldn't believe what I was doing. What I wrote was practically a riddle in the first place.

_**xBella's POVx**_

I awoke in the middle of the dark night, completely kept still in my little area of sleep by the darkness that the sky held captive. I could not even find something in the cool night air that could have woken me up, and even worse, Edward was nowhere within sight. My cold fingers shook and I brought them to my mouth, hoping to stop my teeth from chattering. The atmosphere around me suddenly became frost like and I instantly started shivering. It was more then likely fear that brought this upon me. Normally, Edward was sitting just a few feet away, watching me as I sleep, but because he wasn't there this night, I felt entirely uneasy. Funny… I think I'd be the only human in the world to feel uneasy when a vampire _isn't _around.

Again, my eyes shot in every direction, once a sound filled my ears, my eyes were on that spot as if expecting Edward to appear with a reassuring smile that would make me feel silly for being worried.

"Twilight isn't anywhere near yet… I guess I've only slept for a couple hours so far…" Then I found myself thinking -since I was apparently only safe in my mind when I wanted to say something to myself- what in the world is Twilight anyway? What time of the day is that! For all I knew, twilight had come and gone and I was stuck being a human.

More thoughts flooded into my brain. Do I really want to live forever? I mean, of course, I want to be with Edward for the rest of my life and I never want to leave him, but… would it get boring? Do I have more to fear about being a vampire then I even realize.

"Sheesh! It's not entirely my fault that the Cullen's' make everything seem so easy!" I was shaking my head at my own words and at everything I was thinking. I tried to get up but simply rolled a couple feet from the camp.

"Oh…" I mumbled, seeing myself encased in my sleeping bag.

I'm so stupid. And not because I tried to get up with a sleeping bag around me! But… thinking now, I realize entirely that I want to be a monster. I want to be whatever Edward is so that I can understand him better. What a dumb time to figure this out. My fingers are to blame! If I didn't scratch at that dumb apple, I would've ended up biting it after a few more minutes.

"I'm incredibly dumb…great…" I needed sleep though, now that I finally realized how tired I was feeling. Before I could do anything to stop myself, my head dropped to the pillow part of the sleeping bag and my eyes shut, forcing me into a slumber.

_**x Edward's POV x**_

My hand came to a halt, the pen finally stopping its constant scratching. I was hardly even aware of what I myself wrote in the back of her notebook. Only now, thinking back on when I took it, I felt I had made a mistake. She'll read her journal over, or it'll fall and she'll see that someone has written in it other then herself. Her handwriting was exclusively different then my own and it would become obvious, the moment she sees my script again, that it was I that wrote the few lines in the back cover.

I glanced at it one more time, trying to make my eyes focus on the words. Aloud, I started to read what I wrote down.

'_You live you're life to the fullest, and that is not measured in length. Being human gives you the ability to stride forth and continue life as if anything can happen. People don't live to just to know that they will live forever; people live to know that at any moment their life can end. As bad as that sounds, it is how life should be.'_

As I finished reading, it became clear that just by what I wrote; she would know it was I. Who else would mention the fact that she is human? It isn't like many other vampires know her other then my family…

And of course, not only would she see that I wrote in her journal, but she'll figure out that I read it to know what she was thinking. I can't imagine how angry she'll be when she discovers this, but after seeing that she lied to me, I came to the decision that it was necessary. I refuse to change her until I actually see her take a bite out of an apple that I give her when giving her the option to choose.

Finally, I brought my body to a standing position and carried myself back up the hill toward our camp. The hike we made, just as Bella had said, was not much of a hike at all, but it was at least something. I was fairly surprised that I walked back to the camp; rather then get there in a matter of seconds. Shock still covered my essence, which was –wait…definitely is- the cause of my need to move at a slow pace. I thought the entire way to the camp about her indecision. Her falseness when it came to her pleas to be changed. But the fact of the matter was, she herself couldn't even decide.

It was quite interesting, when I gave her the full opportunity to prove that she wants to live forever and become a vampire -enduring the pain of the change- she can't show that what she says is true. She says that she would want nothing other then to become a monster, but when she is about to admit this to her self, she is entirely indecisive. Is it the living for an eternity without changing the part that keeps her away? Or is it the pain and secretiveness that stops her from fulfilling those wishes? Possibly, it is the fact that she'll need to feed.

And as I think all of this, I come to recognize that I really want her to stay with me for that full eternity. Every waking moment of my completely conscious life, I want Bella by my side. I say that I don't want her to become the monster that I am because of how complicated it makes everything. But, it doesn't make things convoluted for me; it makes it like that for hers. I'm used to life like this, but the way she is, she won't be able to hide what she became from her family and friends if I were to change her.

It's strange that when I finally discover I _want_ to change her, I also discover in the same instance, that she may not really want to be like me at all. I carefully slip her journal neatly back into her bag and sit down against a tree, watching her as she breaths; exhales…inhales…exhales…

"She enjoys being human… but wants to be a vampire at times. But, because of the joy she has of being mortal, she isn't sure if she will be okay with the change," I concluded. It's as if when I finally want what she wants, she changes her mind, and the worst part of that is, is that I never know what she is thinking because I'm unable to listen.

The dilemma became even tougher, as if it wasn't tough enough to begin with. The thought came to me again -that if I did get my way, and she fully obliged to me changing her- how would I stop? What if the taste of her blood overcame my consciousness like it almost had when I stopped the poison from spreading when James bit her? Just the scent of her blood drives me crazy in a good, obsessive sort of way. When would I even know if I injected enough venom into her to allow her to change in just the three days? Again, the thought of not being able to stop when I'm supposed to came to mind. I could end up completely draining her body of all her blood. I'd be going against everything Carlisle taught me if that was the case. I can't change her, for I could screw up everything! I could kill the one person I truly love…

Yet, after all that thinking, I still wanted to change her. I can't. I won't. Yet, I want to. Now, I really can't, as I realized earlier. Her indecision stands in the way of us being together for all eternity. But, if it is her wish to be human, I will not force her into something she doesn't want. I'm foolish.

I call her indecisive… but aren't I exactly the same right now…?

**Kyo-K40-Sohma: **Oh my… I typed the entire chapter this time. It just kinda all came out and surged through my hands. I was up at 2:30am typing XD. I'm weird. Okay…so if there's anything wrong with this at all or anything you dislike feel free to tell me ; But…Suma told me to make it longer then the others sooo… I did! I hope you all enjoyed!

P.s: Thanks to those that reviewed the previous chapter! I'm happy to be helping with this awesome story! I'm praying that I don't screw up so… crosses fingers to pray let's just hope I don't ruin anything 

**Suma Susaki:** sigh Kyo attacked it! XD I like it though… so I put it up here for chapter 6! I hope (and I'm sure Kyo does too…) that you all like it.

We'll see you all next chapter! Review please! They help us write… _big time_…

_:Suma Susaki:_

_-and-_

_:Kyo-K40-Sohma:_


	7. Blood & Lust

**Under The Stars**

**:Suma Susaki:**

**-and-**

**:Kyo-K40-Sohma:**

Hello everyone! Sorry it took so long to update! Kyo and I have been planning the rest of the story! Go us! We officially know that this story will be _really long_. We have all sorts of surprises for this story… xD. Anyway… would you all like this story to be long? Let us know how you feel please! We've been awaiting the arrival of this chapter anxiously… the writers! We have both written this chapter equally… and the plan's and the hard work put into this chapter and the rest of the story goes equally to Kyo and I. Thank you soo much for waiting patiently everyone!

Yes… Kyo and I have both read New Moon! (yay!) But we both swear that we've had this chapter planned for a LONG time now. So, please do not tell us that it doesn't go along with New Moon what so ever. Thanks in advance.

Disclaimer: WE OWN TWILIGHT NOW! YAY! Okay...not really…but it was worth a shot.… (sigh)

**Anivanchic77, anonymous, bitmecold, Your Gothic Lullaby, midnight 1987, Hellish Red Devil, .heartbroken.poet., CrazyDreamerGirl, Fluff Freak, Katherine Cullen, TooMuchLoveforEdward, Hope, foverisabiteaway, Afallenblackrose, beridanwen, and Kaytoko!**

**Thank you to all who reviewed chapter 6! (smiles)**

**_Chapter 7: Blood & Lust_**

_**Last time: **_

Yet, after all that thinking, I still wanted to change her. I can't. I won't. Yet, I want to. Now, I really can't, as I realized earlier. Her indecision stands in the way of us being together for all eternity. But, if it is her wish to be human, I will not force her into something she doesn't want. I'm foolish.

I call her indecisive… but aren't I exactly the same right now…?

_**Now:**_

**Xx Edwards POV xX**

_Dear Diary,_

_I'm still with Alice and Jasper, they continue to watch me, maybe Alice saw what I was planning to do. I need to get to that studio and save my mom or at least go to my house and see if she's still… alive. _

_So...I'll ditch them at the airport. I remember the layout and I can get away without being spotted. Keep my mind blank and stay calm around both of them (meaning Alice and Jasper) and I'll get away without them seeing. I only hope that Edward doesn't come when he finds my note... I don't want him to get hurt. Especially if this ends up being a stupid move..._

I threw a rock into the stream as I read her journal entries… one by one. I needed to know how many times she's lied to me… I had to know. I've already seen several times where she'd edited her thoughts around me… and than put them into this book. How could she not trust me with things, but she could trust a book which could get into the hands of someone who would read it… where they could take it the wrong way…

_The way I am right now. _

I sighed and looked up towards the sky. Only about an hour before Bella would wake up. I had to hurry.

_I can't believe the Cullen's are doing this for me. It's insane for them to risk their lives for mine… a human; a lesser being. Don't get me wrong, I love them all so much. They are the family I've always wanted to have and more…_

_But I just don't see why they would want a human to stay alive while they go and kill a vampire. It's completely confusing, I know. I'm getting confused just writing this all down. Edward told me not to worry about him… but that doesn't stop me from doing so. I talked with him before James called. It was so good to hear his voice again. After we hang up, the clouds of depression came back to me… they're still here. I don't know what I would do if Edward was to ever leave me, or if something happened to him… _

_Oh wait… I know._

_I'd die or kill myself trying to get him back. _

_-Bella-_

_Ps… I don't know what I'm saying...or why I'm saying it...but I know I'm going to die tomorrow... when I meet James. Good-Bye diary. Thank you for listening to my ramblings. _

The more I read, the angrier I became. Almost everything I knew was completely a lie. I don't understand how she would willingly give her life for something she wasn't positive about and think so stupidly. She forced me to become full of only lies. Everything she told me I now must second-guess. There's something wrong with me… I don't understand why it didn't scrutinize everything she said as a response. I'm entirely lost for the first time in a few centuries.

I was and still am infuriated by her trust in a mere book then in the one she claims to love. So far, I question her wish to become a monster like me, I question her love, and her faith.

It was then that the wind decided to breeze by me, pushing my hair along with it--also, Bella's scent. I breathed deeply, entranced by her clearly unique smell…

"Edward?" I heard Bella's voice clearly as she called my name in her amazingly cute sleepy voice. I panicked. I still have her journal in my hands… and she's heading this way.

That's when I remembered that she would find out that I was reading her diary anyway… why not sooner than later? Plus, I could confront her now and it wouldn't be as awkward…

"I'm at the river!" I called back to her, fully knowing she was already on her way to the stream. I heard the rustling of her foot steps in the underbrush, and looked up to see an extremely confused and slightly angered Bella.

The diary was on the ground, open and the pages flipping due to the breeze.

"What are you doing with that book?" Bella asked me, her voice livid. I mentally winced under her stare…

_It's now or never… _

"What are _you _doing lying to me all the time? I thought you trusted me, Isabella." I said, making it completely obvious that I was serious by looking straight into her eyes.

Bella's eyes widened and she looked like she was just smacked.

**xX Bella's POV Xx**

What am _I _doing lying to him? What is _he _doing reading my diary! I guess this was all out to get me eventually… but that knowledge still didn't numb the shock I felt by the cold voice he gave me.

"Edward… how long have you been reading my diary?" I asked, more like whispered due to the still remaining shock.

"A couple days. And I must inform you that I will not be changing you. If you can't tell me the truth about things Bella, how do you think we'll work out forever? For eternity?" he asked me, voice pained. I could tell immediately I hurt him… I never intended on doing so… I was just indecisive. I knew I had to set this right before he left me… and I died from his absence.

"Edward… I'm sorry. If this is about the apple, I-"

"This isn't only about the Apple Bella… this is about _everything._ You seem to always edit your thoughts while around me… but trust in some book to hold your true feelings? Bella… I've told you time and time again, you can come to me with anything… and you've promised me that you would. If only you had been sincere with that promise we wouldn't be having this conversation…"

"Edward… you know that I want to be with you forever! Just because I've edited my thoughts or whatever you wish to call it, doesn't mean I don't love you or want to be with you! You should know better than anyone that humans tend to say the opposite of how they're feeling. It's how we are!"

I watch as he rubs his forehead, wiping away the imaginary sweat that was beading down his statue like features. There was never a moment I didn't trust him. It wasn't trust that stopped me from telling him everything; it was how he would react that scared me. I didn't put my trust in a book. I put my real thoughts in it, and that's it.

"Sometimes paper is the only thing that will listen to the real me… _without getting mad._" I whispered, though I knew he heard it. My eyes moved towards the trees as I sat myself down so my feet would be inside the icy water. I shivered at contact. I knew if I fell in—which I knew was a possibility... me being me and everything—I would loose myself in the insanely cold water. It was there on the bank, as those thoughts crossed my mind, that I saw a flower.

Edward didn't budge, I noticed, as I looked towards him quickly after my discovery. He seemed to be looking at the water, the same way he was yesterday morning.

"Edward… let me tell you something, ok?" I whispered, trying my best to sound sincere. I looked straight at him… and waited for him to lift his head up.

He never did.

I sighed, and felt tears start to brim at my eyes.

"Edward… you and I have both been through so much… and that comes from both being complete opposites. Me… human, clumsy, normal, not beautiful, breakable, helpless, me. You… Vampire, coordinated, abnormal, breathtakingly beautiful, rock-hard, strong, you…" I laughed at the irony of it all, "They always say opposites attract. We're living proof. And so is that flower over there…" I pointed in the direction of a blood red and snow white flower growing up from the dying leaves with the green scenery set around it.

Edward finally looked at me, eyes showing grief, before moving his dark eyes towards the flower.

_I have his attention… don't loose him Bella…_

"Edward… the flower can't live without the boring, decomposing leaves and the too green forest… just like you can't live without me…" I whispered the last part, not sure if it was completely true or not. "And the boring, normal too green forest with the dying leaves… can't live without the beautiful flowers to help keep it alive. Without the beautiful flowers… the forest would just be… trees. No beauty… not worthy to be seen, plain forest. Edward… without each other, we both will have no meaning in life. I _do _trust you… I _sincerely need you_ with _everything_ I _am…_" I gasped as I tried to stop myself from crying. It was no use.

I started sobbing out his name… sobbed because he didn't believe me… because his trust in me was completely lost… because I knew this was the end…

Of course I had a few more thoughts to let out at him. I was still sobbing as I continued to talk to him.

"Edward… I know I'm probably not your favorite person in the world right now," I chocked as that thought hit me hard. "But I love you… so much. You should know that I trust you with my life… everything about me belongs to you. But sometimes paper is the only thing that listens to me… like I said earlier…without getting mad at me… I'm scared of the way you act when I voice my thoughts sometimes Edward. I know I shouldn't be… because we're a couple… we have to trust each other fully… let each other know exactly what's going on in our heads… easier said then done." I laughed sadly. I couldn't take it anymore.

"Edward… please say something… I can't stand this anymore… I can't believe that it all came down to this… because of my stupid second thoughts… this all happened… because of my asinine fears… I couldn't trust my wants and needs to you… I'm sorry… I'm truly sorry Edward. I never meant to hurt you… not like this… not ever."

I shook as the sobs came back.

_He's going to leave me… he's going to leave… why is this happening… please let me wake up and have this all be a horrible, bad, nightmare… let me wake up to his smiling, welcoming face, and kiss on my neck… _

I sobbed harder at the realization at just how much I messed up fell full force onto me. I came to the conclusion that if he left me… I would die. Just die and get everything over with. Nothing holds meaning without Edward in it. _Nothing…_

_I miss him already… _

I fell to my side in a boneless heap. I knew I was acting pathetically. I knew I should have just sucked it up and acted my age. I've never cried this much… never in my life have I felt this much pain. Not when my parents got divorced, not once when I was put in the hospital the several hundred times in the past… not when James attacked me…

No… this pain was something totally different.

This pain is _heartbreak_.

I was suddenly aware of strong granite arms around me then. I gasped and threw my arms around him, before I continued to sob into his shoulder. Doesn't he hate me? What's going to happen? Why is the world out to get me… him… _us…?_

"Bella… I love you… stop crying… it's ok. We have to keep this conversation going… but I hate seeing you cry… just stop ok…? I'm sorry… you're sad because of me again…"

I look up at the side of his face, watching his lips form to the words he is using to reassure me. Shock was the first thing to registers in my nerves and I let my arms lock tightly around his neck now, knowing that it wouldn't hurt him like it would hurt any normal guy. "Do you forgive me then?"

A smile peels across his face and he kisses my forehead, carefully inhaling my scent as if I'd be clearheaded enough to catch on to what he was implying. So, finally he sighs and whispers into my ear, the voice of an angel, "I didn't know I had something to forgive you for. I can… understand your reasons. I realize that I do get hotheaded sometimes," he pulls himself away from my ear and looks deep into my eyes. "Maybe…you can forgive me…for not being calm enough to press your feelings into me…"

I rub my eyes, and nod running my fingers down my cheeks to slash away the tears. They were so useless and unwanted now, after all. I could feel my chest heave in and out, pressing against him from my heavy breathing. As uncomfortable as it is to be hugging him, I would want nothing more or less at this point.

He teasingly brushes his lips across my forehead instead of kissing it this time and smiles against my skin. "Edwaaard…" I groaned, wishing he'd stop with the teasing for once and just hold me. I felt terrible as it is. I never intended to let my journal house every little thing I think, do, or feel.

Finally, I remember his request. I smile weakly, rest my head on his stone, cold shoulder, and whisper calmly, "Of course I forgive you. Maybe… from now on…I'll let you look over my shoulder as I write new entries in my diary. Like… if I'm afraid to actually _say _something, I'll let you read it instead." For some reason, this sounded like an excellent idea to me.

Edward stares at me, I can feel his eyes on the back of my head. I felt as if I can guess the expression his face held. It was one of those 'if you can write it, why can't you say it' kind of looks, I was sure of it. Slowly, I pull my head up from his shoulder and look at his face. Yep, just what I thought. "What…you don't like the idea?"

"I'm just…surprised you came up with something that doesn't involve me changing you in the process," he grins, and it takes me a couple seconds to recognize the laughter brewing up behind his teeth.

I couldn't help but stare at him. Here I am, finally stopping the tears from flowing and he goes and laughs on the inside.

"Why are you laughing at me! I can tell you know!" I stared at him, with large eyes.

Edward broke into small chuckles. Not as bad as I thought his laughter would be when it finally came. I just watched his beautiful features, dazzled.

Edward must have seen my change in expression because he smiled at me… which didn't help me _at all_.

"Because it was the truth, silly Bella…" his smile dropped and he looked at me with need.

"Edward… you keep dazzling me…" I accused, pointing my finger at him. He glanced at my finger before he cupped my face with his hand.

His face came closer to mine, and my heart began to race.

"I love you Bella…" his voice surprised me… his tone was much… different. It made a spark go down my spine.

"I love you Edward…" My voice equaled his.

Something about the whirling of his eye color, however, made more then that single spark go down my spine. A soft shiver thrust itself throughout my blood as if it was warning me. I ignore it quickly, disregarding its clear knowledge of something bad occurring.

"I need to kiss you Bella…. please…" yet another few words came from his lips that were unfamiliar to my ears. It was beginning to weird me out a little at first, but once again, I shove it to the side and give him what he is wishing to obtain.

I press my lips to perfect patch of icy skin on his face that covered his flawless teeth. His hands went up into my hair, fully accepting me like he had the night of my birthday. His fingers quickly became tangled in my chaotic hair, but I soon found myself gripping the back of his head, twisting his tousled hair around my breakable fingers and kiss him back the exact same way he had begun.

My eyes were closed, for the prospect of opening them made me think that it was my imagination completely running wild.

It would have been the most intelligent thing to do though. Opening my eyes. Taking in the knowledge of what was happening to Edward as we kissed would have been the smart thing to do. I was enjoying it too much too care though. It didn't matter at all.

Suddenly, every ounce of oxygen in my body began to deplete. It was leaving my lungs completely and I began to gasp into Edward's mouth. Something was wrong. Something…was terribly wrong. My eyes thrust open, expecting Edward to do his normal pull back immediately maneuver but instead, I see his eyes twirling with empty darkness. I was being sucked into the blackness of his eyes before I finally realized what it meant. It was caused from being out in the forest so long without feeding for a while. I had noticed earlier that he was getting paler –if that was possible- but it never came to mind what it meant.

He was thirsty.

Sorry everyone for the cliffy! Just remember… reviewers get candy! (hint hint)

**Suma: Sweet! Sorry everyone for the long delay! This chapter I think was the best chapter so far. Kyo and I were planning it before chapter 6! The month or so it took us to get this up, was all planning, re-doing, going over, editing, etc etc. Thank you all for your patience! Sorry bout the evil cliffy though… (bwahahaha…) **

**KyoK40Sohma: WOO! . . I'm sorry for how I ended it. Suma and I, I think literally split this chapter between us. I think it came out beautifully **

Now… you see the button down there? Ya know… the one that says "submit review—go"? CLICK IT NOW! The faster you do… the faster you get the next chapter! Sooo… click it!

(plus, kyo and I have a bet as to how many reviews and reads we'll get today, 9-6-06, so hurry up and review already!)

XD

**Suma Susaki**

And

**Kyo-k40-Sohma**


	8. Thirst

**Under the Stars**

**Suma Susaki**

**Kyo-k40-Sohma**

**This Chapter didn't take nearly as long to get out! YAY! Ok… well. Review thanks? **

**vvchan, Kaytoko, IWABABY, Mrs Longbottom118, midnight 1987, javajunkie101, IfOnlyIfOnly, HoneyAnne89, Captain Raven Roth, twilight animeluver95, Kristin, Vampiress Yugure, Lauren1623, cloud64, Narita S, snoopy-gal, TooMuchLoveforEdward, Alison, Jaw288, Afallenblackrose, foreverisabiteaway, trinatwilight11, michelle, walks in dreams, Jordanne, and Pickacaranycard! **

**THANK YOU ALL FOR YOUR AWESOME REVIEWS! **

**KyoK40Sohma: I began this chapter the day we posted chapter 7 (I got one of those big inspiration moments.) I wrote the entire chapter so…if there is anything wrong at all…it's my fault, not Suma's. It's just, the moment I started typing the beginning of this chapter, I couldn't stop. **

**Suma Susaki: oh wow… ok… well…. Umm….where the crap have I been? lol… I probably would have helped with it if my week would be less busy…. Lets see here…. This Sunday, wake up at 7 and go to church till noon… go to lunch, go home. Do homework from Friday… go to my youth group at 4:00… don't get home till like 10:00. Monday… get up at 5:30…. Go to school… after school, go to doctors…. Get home… homework all night…Tuesday… get up at 5:30… go to school… get home at 3:30… go to Worship Band practice at 4:30…. Get home at 10:00. (wow…)… Today… get up at (guess…) 5:30. Go to school… get home at 3:30… have Algebra hw but decide to get on the computer…. Kyo IM's me…. Tells me the chap. Is finish… I'm all…. Woah. Were the crap have I been! and this whole thing starts again. lol…. (sigh) so yah… lol. I probably should get off soon. (stupid algebra homework…)**

**Btw! Speaking of IM's! Kyo and I want to talk to you all! That is, if you deam us worthy of you! (lol) So… we both have MSN, and AIM. So give us a type! (haha… that was lame but w/e…I'm hyper so…. Yah.) (wow I'm stupid… -.-)**

**_Suma:_ AIM: TwilightAwakened**

** MSN: ConcretexAngel hotmail . com (take out the spaces)**

**_Kyo:_ AIM: I Luv Kyo Sohma**

** MSN: cxa-luv hotmail . com**

****

**Last Time:**

****

_Suddenly, every ounce of oxygen in my body began to deplete. It was leaving my lungs completely and I began to gasp into Edward's mouth. Something was wrong. Something…was terribly wrong. My eyes thrust open, expecting Edward to do his normal pull back immediately maneuver but instead, I see his eyes twirling with empty darkness. I was being sucked into the blackness of his eyes before I finally realized what it meant. It was caused from being out in the forest so long without feeding for a while. I had noticed earlier that he was getting paler –if that was possible- but it never came to mind what it meant. _

_He was thirsty._

**_Chapter 8: Thirst_**

Edward opens his mouth on mine now and his rough teeth are rubbing against my lips, begging to tear open the skin the stops the blood from overflowing. I never dreamed that it would be Edward, forcing all this danger onto me in such a forceful matter, but at this very moment I had absolutely no time to dream –or even day dream- I had to stop him. A little human like myself, has to stop a stone cold vampire from draining her of existence.

The groaning was coiling up in an immense ball inside Edward's chest. It was getting louder and louder and the vibrations from it all were shaking my lips and making me become numb with fright. Never had I been this scared of him, but as the growling got louder, I realized that I _had_ to be scared, and _needed_ to clear my thoughts and find a way to stop this.

I couldn't speak. His mouth was suctioned to my quaking lips he beginning to press against my lips, threatening to break the skin. I thrust my thrashing hands against his chest, trying to force his body away from mine, however, that attempt was just like pushing the wall of a building and expecting it to move. Suddenly, an explicit, vexatious sensation overwhelms my entire body, annexing a glob of frosty liquid that began to roll carelessly from my lips and drip into diminutive puddles on the ground beneath them, each midget pond was large enough for one measly gnat.

It wasn't saliva.

It wasn't sweat.

It wasn't even tears. It didn't even smell salty; it had more of a rusty odor to it. Nausea was covering my body now as I recognized the scent.

It was blood.

My blood. It was running from my paling lips and I was conscious now of Edward's tongue brushing against my mouth, consuming the blood and sucking it away avariciously. I was screaming and writhing now in pain. I'm positive that the venom that are produced in his teeth is long gone and into my system and the pain would stop soon. He'd kill me. He always told me that if he were to ever bite me, there wasn't a chance I survived. He even knew that it was my scent that attracted him to me in the first place, and the minute he was able to taste it again; it would probably all be over.

His eyes were pure black now, becoming more and more satisfied as he quenched his thirst using my blood. Now I was able to sense the mixture of the rusty and salty smells. I was crying –no, bawling- my eyes out and I couldn't find a way to stop. There were two pains at this current moment. One was the afflictive pain from the venom that was bit into me and the second was the fact that this pain was just as ruinous as any type of heartbreak or injury, in fact it was far worse because my throbbing soreness was inflicted by the man who loved me; the man I loved.

Xx Edward's POV xX

I couldn't even take fake breaths now. It was all over. Each time I sucked in my unneeded oxygen from her lungs, I could feel her body getting colder against me. She was struggling and my mind told me not to care. My thirst was uncontrollable now. I was able to taste her blood again, and this time there was no need to stop. No one can stop me this time. Her hands were pressed against my chest imperceptibly and I could see that she wants me to stop. She wants to scream in pain.

Her body was shaking now as I bite down on her bottom lip, taking in the blood as it hardly dripped out. She tasted far better then she did the last time I was permitted to do this; maybe it's because I feel as if I have no limits this time, I can kill her; suck her dry and realize that no other vampire will ever have the joy of tasting blood as sweet as hers.

My mouth finds its way to her throat where I press my lips as if to assess her pulse. Finally, I'm at her neck and quickly drop my teeth into her skin, cutting through like butter. The blood that came from her neck was actually better then the blood from her lips.

What?

What… am I thinking?

The venom from my teeth was now ruthlessly pulsing through her internal systems, drying up the blood as it passes through.

I'm killing her.

Her eyes were sinking into the darkness that was beneath them. Her beautiful skin was becoming more and more icy, like mine. I was killing her.

I love her. I have to stop but I can't. I know better then to do this to her and cause her this much pain. The sound of her screaming was filling my ears, resonating towards and hammering against my sensitive eardrums. The tears were beginning to soak my own neck and drench my clothing. It was all mixing with her blood.

I yank away from her and push her down. My eyes flicker repeatedly, absorbing the atrocity that lies before me; the massacre I caused to my own mate. I couldn't believe what I was seeing, but I knew better then to ignore it. I force myself to close my throat and my nose, shutting down my senses. She was going to die. Blood was pouring from her wounds like liquid diving off of a waterfall.

Her scent was overpowering my ability to ignore. She was unintentionally tempting me to cause her even further pain. But for now –and forever- I must ignore it. I have to perfect the thing that Carlisle had achieved so long ago; the thing that allows him to withstand the thirst for blood and be a famous, small town surgeon.

As fast as I could, I lift her limp body from the floor and hug her close to me, applying pressure to the gash I dented into her neck. Her lips cuts were already forming clots to stop the bleeding, so my only worry now was to get her back to Forks –back to Carlisle- before it can possibly get any worse, if it already hasn't.

I began to glide toward Forks swiftly, unseen by people who were in the streets. My body is unable to stop and I ram right through the door, shielding Bella from all the splintering wood.

Jasper's right near the door as we collapse into the house. He stares at me, then stares at the blood splashing from beside Bella's throat. His eyes swell into deep black holes and as he growls and comes towards us, Emmett slips his arms under Jasper's holding him back. He wasn't as bad as he used to be, but Emmett knew all too well that Jasper had to get better at ignoring it.

Soon enough, Emmett got an eyeful of the situation and glanced at me, blankly, as if shock couldn't even be depicted correctly. "Carlisle, we need you…. Edward… and Bella are back…" his voice was flat, it wasn't as loud and cheery, or rough as I'm used to, but it was with good reason.

Xx Bella's POV xX

Everything around me was revolving out of control, like the Sun wasn't the center of the universe any more or something. I couldn't see straight. Every bit of wilderness was gone and I was inside an air-conditioned area, forcing my body's temperature to drop even more. I begin to recognize my sudden shaking as well as this wet goop that's pouring down my neck and toward the floor, some of it resting in puddles on my chest.

Through my barely open eyes I can see Carlisle looking down at me, and through the corner of them I can see Edward spinning around –wait no… he's standing with his back to me and his head against the wall- Alice is talking to him, attempting to comfort him about something. I begin to feel bad, though I can't recall why. My thoughts race and I begin to pray weakly under my breath that Esme is safe and that the rest of the Cullens' are okay.

There was a sudden rush of pain through my body and I began to convulse recklessly, my head smacking against the tiled floor beneath me every once and a while. I could feel Carlisle's hard hands against my shoulders, trying to hold me still and examine something about my neck. "What's… happening…?" I managed to gasp, feeling his fingers against something on my neck, forcing me to twitch with further agony.

Carlisle's face was starting to fade from sight, I felt so tired. He was whispering something as if he was trying to comfort me. Why was he trying to relieve me though? I felt just fine, maybe a little cold and sore from the hike…but nothing more. My eyes fell and before I slipped out of consciousness, I heard Carlisle speak again. "Don't worry Bella… you're going to be just fine… just… hang on for us?"

Xx Edward's POV xX

I pressed my fingers against the wall ahead of me as intensely as I could without breaking it and dropped my head against my hand gently before staring down at the floor. My lips were coated with dried blood. I could feel the desire for blood dissipating quickly, quenched with Bella's fluids. "What'd I do…?" the question lolled across my stained mouth before drifting to the tile flatly.

Alice managed to put her comforting hand on my shoulder without me swatting to keep her away. "Edward… it's okay. Don't be so hard on yourself, all right? Carlisle is going to make Bella as good as new, just stay calm…" the chime of her voice was gone as she spoke to me; it was like what she was saying wasn't fully backed up with her joy.

My head gradually turned to allow me the privilege of seeing Alice through my peripheral vision. Her face was deeply troubled and it was obvious that my expression was an almost exact imitation of hers'. To Alice, Bella was her sister even more then Rosalie. The pain that rose inside me was a giant hairball of guilt, yet I couldn't cough it out. It was lodged in there and it'll stay there forever and be revived every moment that I see Bella; especially when she bleeds. Nothing that I said to myself made me believe otherwise. I hurt her. What's worse is…

I hurt her and wouldn't stop.

Carlisle was walking towards me now, taking slow, delicate steps as if he was trying to pretend he wasn't upset with my actions. He had his thoughts blocked from me so that I couldn't hear what he was thinking about. "I'm blocked off from everyone in my _family_," I whisper under my breath, fully aware that they are able to hear me.

"Edward… what happened to Bella?" asked Carlisle, stopping just beside me to access the same style of sight that Alice penetrated. I pretended to ignore him, though the thought of insanity unfurled when I realized exactly what I was doing. I never –never- ignore him, he was my father, even though it wasn't through blood relation. He repeated his question, his voice showing that he figured I hadn't heard him the previous time, "What happened to Bella, Edward? Did she fall?" That was the most obvious way for her to get injured of course…

I turned my whole body now, leaving just my left hand against the wall, unaware that blood was stained my hand: her blood. "She didn't fall…" I whispered, my voice rigid as my teeth grind together without my permission. I struggled to compose my usually unnaturally calm tone and whisper through my grating teeth, "I… did something…foolish…" were the only words I could come up with before projecting what I had done into Carlisle's thoughts.

Carlisle's eyes dilate slightly and he takes a deep, unneeded breath, before grabbing my arm and pulling me towards his office. "Edward…" his voice had not the slightest ounce of disappointment in it and neither did his thoughts. His posture was annoyingly calm as if what I had done was something he hadn't tried slowly weaning us all off of. "Look… she's fine. But you shouldn't have even thought about taking a trip without feeding unless you have one of us with you. You didn't think of the possibilities, you know it's hard for us to resist all temptations in the first place, especially since you aren't as practiced as I am." Somehow, he still didn't sound as crestfallen as he should.

"I didn't… I never thought I'd do that to her. I trusted in my abilities…. I believed in them so much. I've been able to keep myself from doing this to her for such a long time, and I screw up once and look what's happened to her!" My voice rose with anger and my fist drove down roughly against his desk leaving an unprepossessing dent against the once smooth, lumber surface. "I can't even keep her safe when I _am_ with her. Yet, when I'm away its nearly as bad. I told myself I wouldn't change her…. I told her that I wouldn't change her. But look…" I spoke less clearly near, turning to face Carlisle who was trying to calm me with his reassuring expression.

His eyes rested on my face now and he smiled gently. "She _did_ want to be changed though, didn't she Edward? You just didn't want to do it because you didn't want to harm her. She _is _alive. She _is _safe. But the only other thing that she is doing, that isn't positive, is suffering from the insurmountable pain…It wont stop or even weaken until the third-."

I cut him off quickly before he had a chance to continue any further, "She _didn't_ want to be changed!" I heard myself muster up a frightening growl as I rumbled towards him, "I read it in her diary! She didn't want it to be done! She wasn't sure and now I really have damned her for eternity! I wanted her with me forever but her diary contradicted every little word she said; every damn plea!" I was yelling –literally shouting- at my father, the one I respected the most out of anyone I've ever come up to in my life.

However, my hunger-satisfied eyes met his and he stared at me in near shock. "But… Bella always said that she wanted to be changed… every time you asked what she wanted she'd say it was to be with you forever."

"I know…but… it wasn't true. I've forsaken her because of my indestructible life! Maybe I really should go to the Volturi at this point! I've certainly done enough by now that they'll grant my death wish! I hate what I am; I despise most what I've done!"

Alice poked her head in through the crevice between the door itself and the threshold. She then fully stepped in and stared at me, shaking her head in disapproval. "Edward… how could you think _that_ -of all things- is the correct answer to what has occurred? If you go off and do something as stupid as that before Bella awakens, do you know what will happen?" she paused as if for a dramatic affect, the silvery bell, chime-like tone of her voice was currently no where to be heard. "I know what will happen," she muttered, pressing her index finger effortlessly to her temple, "She'll have to _suffer_ without you. Without **you**. And you're the one that changed her; she would destroy herself if living immortality meant living without you by her side." She bats her eyelashes a little and spins around gracefully, exiting the office free of saying another word.

My face filled with even more cold then normal; this time I could actually feel my face freezing into a chiseled block of ice. I began to rethink every little detail of Alice's words. It was quite possible that she cared for Bella as much as he did at some points. At the blink of an eye –when it came to Bella- she would be there to help her by any means. It was identical for him. My body fell to rubble as it became encased in Carlisle's desk chair. My fingers tightly dug into the edges of the armrest and as I did this, my eyes fixated themselves onto a picture of the Volturi. "That thought…will never again cross my mind. This mistake –if I can't call it a blessing in disguise- will have to be cared for by me…"

Carlisle smiled approvingly and left the room without agreeing or conflicting with me. The door shut and I concentrated on every miniscule sound that resonated throughout the house. Jasper was hurrying up the stairs and segregating himself to get away from the blood. He, too, did not wish to ever harm Isabella. Alice was aiding Esme by cleaning up the spilt plasma that drenched the tile on the floor, having a soothing conversation to leave the uncomfortable topics alone. Carlisle and Emmett were looking after Bella in a somewhat hidden room near the kitchen, fixing the broken skin and wounds as best as they possibly could. The only person doing something unproductive was Rosalie. She sat in her bedroom upstairs, muttering under her breath about one or another. However, after she finished with her inner bantering, she entered Jasper's room to keep him company; to help him fight the urges that roared out of control inside of him. Why couldn't I stop myself when I smelt the blood on her lips just as Jasper is now able to stop himself to a certain degree without doing something drastic?

**KyoK40Sohma: And there it is. Once more, I typed this entire chapter. Leave us some reviews and we'll both try to update as quickly as possible. I hope you enjoyed Chapter 8!**

**Suma Susaki: Oh yah… and once more, where the crap have I been? **

**sigh**

**Ok… well… you guys reviewed us so much last time… I think that's why Kyo typed so fast. lol… because I know we're both obsessed with all of your comments. They make our days! So please please please please please review for us, ok? **

**Btw…. **

**(tag) YOU'RE IT! (runs off in the sunset)**

**Suma Susaki**

**And**

**Kyo-k40-Sohma**


	9. Concrete Angel

UNDER THE STARS

Suma Susaki

Kyo-K40-Sohma

Omigosh! So sorry that we haven't updated in forever! We've both been super busy lately with homework! I know… lame excuse, but it's the truth. (sighs)

So anyway… Thank you to all who reviewed! It means so much to us!

**Cloud64: **(smiles) This chapter will have that… or not. You'll find out once you read! Lol

**Jordanne: **Or maybe she isn't… you don't know that yet. (smirks)

**hp/hgforever: **Well… here's that update! So sorry it took so long to get out:)

**Kaytoko: **But running off into the sunset is totally cool! (jumps up and down) but hey… I'm back! Yay me! Thank you though for the compliments… dunno if this will shock you though Kay… hehe… sorry. Love! OH! Btw! Thanks for helping me with the kinks in this chapters outline! Love ya lots Kay!

**Hellish Red Devil: **Thanks! Kyo and I have been planning these chapters to where there are a lot of twists, etc. So make sure to look out for them! (smiles) Here's that update!

**Mrs. Longbottom118: ** Ok… FYI… this chapter has spoilers! Just a heads up! I loved your review. The particular day I received it had been a horrible day, and I came home to it. Thank you! I'm so sorry it took more than a month to get this chapter out… but hopefully by now you've read New Moon. (lol)

**Asquared91: **Well… Edward had bit her while he has kissed her. Does that answer your question? (smiles) Here's the update! Hope it's long enough for you!

**trinatwilight11: **I agree… I don't think Edward is so little either. ;) I'm glad you liked the chapter! I'm so incredibly sorry that it took so long to get out, but I hope you love this chapter just as much as the last one.

**Vampiress Yugure:** aww… so sorry it took so long to get this chapter out! One month and a week or so… you'll find out why when you read it though. This chapter changes a lot for the story, and it took a bit longer than the others to plan. Here's the chapter! No more emo tears missy! (laughs)

**snoopy-gal: **Thank you soo much for the review! We get just as excited when we receive reviews like yours. (smiles) Here's the chapter!

**Vvchan: **Thank you! I'm amazed at how many reviews I got saying almost the same thing as yours did. Thank you soo much for reading and reviewing for such a long time! Here's chapter nine! I hope you like it! (grins)

**Darth Vyper: **Why thank you! I'm glad you like it! Here's that update:D

**Rippedskies: **lol… thank you:) Here's that update… sorry it couldn't be posted up earlier.

**Nicole: **oh I'm sorry! I hope that you don't think we deserted you _again _with this chapter! I made it longer for you all as an apology… hope you enjoy it:)

**midnight 1987: **lol… I completely understand. We were on the edge of our own seats while writing the last chapter. Hope you like this one just as much!

**Javajunkie101: **Thank you! I'm sorry too, but it had to be done like that! Hehe… oh… here's the update!

**Me: **What an original name…:D. lol… it's ok that you didn't review chapter 7, at least you did with chapter 8, right? Sorry for the late update! Please forgive us!

**E2Bella: **maybe…. Maybe not! lol… here's the next chapter! Go find out for yourself:D

**CrazyDreamerGirl: **Thank you so much! Here's that update:)

**Kairiyuna15: **Thank you! Yes… sadly it had to be done. Here's chapter 9:D

**S.Atkins: **Thank you! Here ya go!

**Kiwismakemehappy: **umm… thank you? lol… soo.. addicted huh? (laughs evilly) YAY! KUDOS!!! (dances) umm…yes…hussy. (laughs) THANKYS!! makes seductive, wide eyed, pose, while wiping sparklies off of forehead ALSO like an awesome sparkly vampire) (laughs)

**And last but not least:**

**Kikyomusdie: **lol… thank you so super much! Here's the next chapter!

Ok… so I, Suma, wrote this chapter's outline, and this chapter, up until the VERY end, where I couldn't come up with a decent ending for you all. Kyo took over at that point. (smiles) Thank you once again to those who reviewed!

**_WARNING! This story may be changed to an M rating. We will let you know ahead of time, if this change does occur. _**

I tried my hardest to make this chapter longer than any of the others, and by looking at just the hand written part in my notebook of small print, 14 pages… I would say I achieved that goal. Enjoy everyone!

**CHAPTER 9: Concrete Angel**

**Last Time:**

The only person doing something unproductive was Rosalie. She sat in her bedroom upstairs, muttering under her breath about one or another. However, after she finished with her inner bantering, she entered Jasper's room to keep him company; to help him fight the urges that roared out of control inside of him. Why couldn't I stop myself when I smelt the blood on her lips just as Jasper is now able to stop himself to a certain degree without doing something drastic?

**Now:**

**Edward's POV**

Everything in my head clicked. I had to be with her... it was just fate that this had happened. I couldn't believe that whatever higher being there is, if any for us vampires, would be so cruel as to teach me a lesson like this.

I turned my attention to my hands, before I put them on my lips. The dry blood that still lingered there flaked off onto my fingers. I quickly ran upstairs to take a shower.

Once in my room, I quickly discarded my blood soaked clothes in a heap on the ground, before I entered the shower.

I hurriedly cleaned the caked blood off of my pale skin, and rinsed it all down the drain.

As I was getting out, and just started to pull my clothes back on, Alice's thoughts rushed through my head,

_"Edward... get down here."_

Immediately I thought something went wrong with Bella. I hurriedly pulled the remaining clothes on, and raced downstairs to the room everyone was in with Bella.

Once I got into the room, I immediately ran to Bella's side, grabbing her paler than usual hand, holding it close to my chest. No matter how much self-loathing I have, I still love her. I have to be here with her, no matter what happens.

My family grew silent behind me as I broke down into dry sobs and fell to my knees next to Bella. Something struck me as it flew through Alice's head. Reluctantly, I pulled my hand away from my angel, so I could help her and Carlisle get everything set up for Bella in a hidden room in the basement. Knowing Charlie, when he gets back tomorrow only to find Bella missing, this house will be the first place he looks, my room a close second.

Bella screamed out a few seconds after my hand had left hers.

and again…

and again…

and again…

"Edward! Don't leave me!" she cried out, breathing hard. My eyes went wide. _Does this mean she forgives me?_

"Edward! Stop standing there and give her contact!" Carlisle said walking up to me, putting his hands on my back as to get me moving.

Quickly moving forward, I picked her up, and held her to me. Her arms instantly flew around my next…tightly. Rubbing her back, I whispered reassuring words, and started humming her lullaby.

Bella relaxed immediately, yet still screaming out in pain. Jasper sent a wave of relaxation around the room, and Bella calmed down, if even just a little bit. She was suddenly cuddling even more into my body.

"Thank you Jasper." I whispered, not wanting to bother her.

"No problem man." He replied to me.

Carlisle's voice suddenly ran through my head…

"Edward, you stay with Bella. The rest of us will get the room ready for her." His smile calmed me greatly.

"Thank you." I whispered. He nodded, and he and the rest of the family left the room.

Bella almost immediately opened her eyes as I stroked her cut up cheeks and lips. It surprised me. No one, _ever_, was ever able to not be screaming or seizing, while being changed.

Bella will never cease to amaze me.

"Edward…" Her sweet voice came to me as a cough.

"Shh, Bella. Save your energy." I whispered to her, putting my forehead lightly onto hers.

"Edward… I love you… for eternity." She closed her eyes and gasped in pain, and I held her closer against me.

"And," she whispered after a moment, "I forgive you. I just hope and pray…you can still forgive _me_."

As she said those three words, 'I forgive you', I couldn't help but silently shake while hugging her just a little closer to me.

"Bella, I'm so sorry…" _I'm so scared… I could loose you forever…_

"Don't be…" Bella whispered, wincing and biting the lips I had bit not to long before hand.

"I _wanted_ this remember? And now that it's happening…" she trailed off, crying out and screaming. I kept her still, holding her, until the surge of pain had passed.

"Edward… now that this is happening… I'm both happy and scared, both in a good way. Like the way a bride feels… before getting married," She held onto me tighter, "I can't wait to be by your side until the end of the world, Edward. I love you."

"I love you too, Bella…" She smiled at me gently, and then her body suddenly convulsed in my arms, before she screamed out once again.

I picked her up, hurriedly, and made my way to the basement, where the secret room was located. It, coincidentally, was soundproof to humans. Vampires, however, could easily hear everything in the room. When I got there, everything was ready for Bella.

I laid her on the bed, and kept my hand and hers interlocked. The entire family was staring at me as Bella started to thrash around on the bed.

"When do we leave, Carlisle?" I asked, fake calm. Looking away from   
Bella, towards the others, I saw them all exchange glances.

"A week after she is announced dead. We don't want to look suspicious. Bella will have to be in this room until right before we leave."

Everyone nodded, before Jasper sent another wave of relaxation around the room. I nodded to him my thanks.

Carlisle spoke again,

"Let's give Bella and Edward some room everyone. Edward, call if you need us." I nodded again, before everyone left the room.

Once the door was locked, I got onto the bed with Bella, and held her to me.

"Bella… you better live through this. I can't live without you."

And so started the three days of Hell.

**Bella's POV**

I was in Edwards embrace. I could feel him against my on fire body. It helped the pain with just his presence. The burning sensation ate away at my body; surges of pain flew through me, the next worse than the last.

I writhed and screamed in pain; I had no control of my body now. I gripped onto Edward tightly… I felt as if I was drowning again.

"Edward! Don't leave me!" I cried, franticly.

His touch seemed so distant now. It was getting to the point where I could no longer feel him.

_That _was the worst pain I could ever imagine.

I screamed for him, for somebody, to stop the pain. My yelling stopped as I was pulled into never-ending fire. The pain was a million times worse here, and somehow I knew I wasn't going to make it through this.

I kept telling myself otherwise. I _had _to make it for Edward. I _have_ to be with him forever. I'm going to make it… I _am._

I was being sucked into black oblivion. I was dieing. I didn't know if it was the vampirism coming, or if it was actual death… that my body couldn't take the change.

Screaming out, I yelled with all of my remaining energy, "I LOVE YOU EDWARD CULLEN!!"

As soon as those words came out of my mouth, a surge of pain so incredibly terrible, so incredibly strong… made me scream until I no longer could, and then some. I went numb, my body felt heavy, my breathing grew ragged, my heart beat slowed…

**Death was here. **

I saw my life flash before my eyes.

I saw my family, before my parents got divorced. I saw my little girl self, crying myself to sleep because of all the fighting. I was helpless… hopeless. I couldn't help but think everything was my entire fault.

The many, many memories of hospital visits went by as a blur. I could barely make one out from another.

And suddenly I was in Forks. The memories of hatred I had felt of the place, becoming love after I met Edward, and the other Cullens. I remembered when Edward saved me (not the first time) in Port Angeles. That night my suspicions of him being a vampire were revealed as the truth.

An image of _our_ meadow came to me the first day I saw Edward in the sun. The awe I felt in seeing him look like millions of diamonds. Than relaxing under the shade of a tree with him. How comfortable we were at just laying there together. Then the first time we ran together. How I had gotten light headed. And than our first kiss…

The wonderful memory was thrown out the window when I suddenly saw Laurent, Victoria, and James.

And then the hunt.

The way I had hurt Charlie. The last kiss Edward and I shared before we separated. The flat black look in his eyes. The horrible stay in the hotel. I remembered the phone call from James.

When I had to loose Jasper and Alice at the airport so I could save everyone… When all I wanted to do was run into Edward's arms and tell him and the others everything.

And than the ballet studio…the "mirror room". The revelations about Alice's past, the dark glint in James burgundy eyes, and the pain I felt when finally attacked…

That was the first time I felt the fire, the drowning in the water. The menacing roar that didn't bring fear, but comfort and peace.

Edward's angelic voice calling out to me, telling me to wake up. I remembered when he sucked the venom from my hand, so I wouldn't' have to go through the pain that pain, which I was now experiencing.

The memories just got worse.

_**(SPOILERS START HERE)**_

The next one was of my 18th birthday party. The paper cut… the glass… the look of hunger in the Cullens eyes…

"STOP!" I wailed. I didn't want the memories to continue. "I don't want to remember the bad times!" I sobbed, putting my hands over my now closed eyes, crying for the memories to stop playing.

They didn't stop. If anything, they just got worse.

Memories were still right there. Edward leaving. _He had gone…_ My chest started to hurt.

Taking my hands away from my eyes, I held them to my chest, wanting the pain of the memories to go away.

"Edward… stay. Don't leave me… please come back…" I was sobbing once again. Memories of myself getting lost in the forest flashed before my eyes. These memories brought surges of pain. I cried out. I could feel myself slipping away…

Weakly… I saw the memories had skipped a bit. I _had _to see Edward… he would be the last thing I saw before dieing.

Memories of Jacob…the werewolves… myself… jumping off the cliff, just to hear Edwards voice. The insanely cold water pulling me, myself giving up the fight to live…

Suddenly, my body when ice cold. I closed my eyes in shock. The feeling was like I was in the water, once again. The insanely cold water…

Soon, my body grew accustomed to the new cold. I opened my eyes once again, only to see Alice and myself hugging. I can remember how incredibly happy I was to see her after so many months.

And than I was in a race with time to save Edward. When he had come to the conclusion that I had actually drowned… he went to London. He would rather die than live without me. I smiled sadly at that… as my body grew heavier.

My memories than went to myself running through the huge crowds of people. When I saw Edward, I ran faster. _Without tripping. _

I ran right into him… pushing my arms around him, begging him to stop. His arms went around me tightly when he finally realized it was me.

_**(SPOILERS END HERE)**_

That was all I needed to see. That memory was the last one I w anted to see before dieing, even though I knew, deep down, that I didn't want to die… at all.

Just before I slipped away, I screamed with all of my remaining energy,

"I'm not going to leave Edward! I'm _not _going to die!!"

And than I was falling again… but blinding light was surrounding me, instead of the inky blackness I had grown used to. Before me, sat an angelic figure, arms outstretched.

Sadly, I fell to my knees, and said aloud,

"I'm dead… I'm so sorry Edward. I wasn't strong enough…" I pounded the ground with my right fist, and stared at my knees blankly, crying for who knows how long.

It was then that I remembered the figure.

Its arms, still outstretched, stayed in the same position, never faltering. By the looks of the person, it was a man, about a few years older than Carlisle's appearance.

The man's lips moved into a sad smile, as he saw, and most likely heard, my apology to Edward that he would never receive. I clutched my heart and bent forward.

This pain… this pain of realizing I'll never see Edward again…this pain is worse than the pain of the change.

I started to sob.

"Not again… I can't be away from him again!" I screamed at the man, moving my hands to my eyes.

It was then that I realized… even though I was sobbing, my eyes had shed no tears. Also, my heart was no longer beating.

Not knowing if this always happened or not, I turned hope filled eyes back to the man.

He and the bright lights were starting to fade. The only thing I could make out were his lips, before his loud and strong voice echoed in the darkness that started to consume me once again…

"I still love you, Isabella…"

I welcomed the darkness this time, knowing, that somehow, someway…

I was going back to Edward.

_(haha! You would all kill me if I left it here…. XD)_

And suddenly, I felt warm, protecting arms around me. I opened my eyes, and was surprised at my vision. I was slowly coming back to myself, my senses coming back one by one… but I still couldn't talk or move.

Edward was sobbing into my neck, holding me so gently, I thought I could barely feel him. That must be how he used to hold me… what _torture._

"Don't die on me Bella… please just wake up. I _need _you…"

Slowly, I got movement in my arms back. My arms wound around him in an instant. I held him against me hard, crying into his shoulder. I was back… I didn't leave him…

We now had eternity together.

Edward stiffened for a moment, before he pulled me against him just as hard. He had by now stopped sobbing, and was now kissing my shoulder and neck.

"Edward…" his name came out as a gasp. My voice sounded silky… seductive.

Edward pulled away from my neck and turned his eyes to my face. Looking at me, his eyes gentled, and showed a tremendous amount of relief.

"I thought I lost you…" he whispered, cupping my cheek.

"You almost did… but I couldn't stand not being with you." I whispered back. Edward's eyes widened, as I moved up, my lips at his ear.

"You kept me going…you're the reason why I'm here… you've always been there for me, and now, I'm always going to be there for you… I love you." I promised my voice completely sincere.

Edward's mouth was crushed onto mine immediately, pushing me back down on the bed. I moaned as his hands ran down my sides. He took the opportunity, and deepened the kiss.

I was definitely ready and excited for my eternity with Edward, yet somehow… I could tell that the perfection of this moment was not all that was to come in the future. It's sad…how the only question that comes to mind now instead of 'What kinds of things can Edward and I do now, that couldn't be done before?' is 'How am I going to just up and leave everything I thought I previously knew?'

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Omigosh! I'm so incredibly sorry—again, that this is getting out late! School has been super hectic (what an original excuse, huh?) and I've been stressed out with a bunch of things.

I've had this chapter done for a bout 3 weeks now, but I never had the time to type it up, and for that, I send out to all of you my deepest apologies.

This story, Kyo and I have decided, will not be ending soon. This story will be at least 20 chapters or so long, so don't worry about us ending it here!

_**THIS IS NOT THE END!! **_

So anyway, please review everyone! It means so much to us when you do!

Please let us know if you see any grammar, or spelling mistakes! And if you see anything wrong concerning New Moon or Twilight, let us know that as well.

Thanks!

_**Suma Susaki**_

_**And**_

_**Kyo-K40-Sohma**_


	10. Past Present Future

Under the Stars _Suma Susaki_ _And_ _Kyo-k40-Sohma_ _-----_ _Hey Everyone! Sorry it took so freaking long to get this out! I (Suma) Have had piles after piles of homework and reports, and so I never got to start on it. Kyo came through though and wrote the chapter for you all! YAY KYO!!!! (dances) I contributed ideas and such to Kyo, and she made it into this chapter. Pretty cool, huh? )_ _Oh! From the both of us, _ _HAPPY EARLY THANKSGIVING EVERYONE!!!!_ _We are thankful for…_ _YOUR REVIEWS AND SUPPORT! _ _Thank you all so much for supporting this story and reviewing! It really keeps us going! We reached the 200 mark! Our 200th reviewer is…_ _drum roll_ _VVCHAN_ _Thank you vvchan! _ _Keep reviewing everyone! _ _Also, super mucho thanks to the following reviewers for reviewing chapter 9! Thank you all so much for your encouraging and happy reviews! We love em! Keep em coming! (smiles)_ _ViscountessKiera, Taryn McD., Narita S, Vampiress Yugure, CrazyDreamerGirl, snoopy-gal, vvchan, Kairiyuna15, insane-rocker, me, pinkfroggy, ridiculouskopec, and Falling Rose Petals!!! _ _WE LOVE YOU GUYS! _ _Enjoy the chapter everyone! _

**Chapter 10: Past; Present; Future**

**Last Time:**

I was definitely ready and excited for my eternity with Edward, yet somehow… I could tell that the perfection of this moment was not all that was to come in the future. It's sad…how the only question that comes to mind now instead of 'What kinds of things can Edward and I do now, that couldn't be done before?' is 'How am I going to just up and leave everything I thought I previously knew?'

**Now:**

His lips continued to press roughly against mine while his fingers twirled carelessly through my hair, ruffling it and smoothing it out occasionally. It all caught me off guard- I always imagined our first _real_ kiss to be like this but could never actually tell myself how it would feel. My brain used to whisper words like 'it probably won't ever happen' and 'you aren't like him; he's a vampire'.

Those lines were merely memories now. None of it was true, I was able to fell my arms wrap limply around his neck and press my lips again after taking a momentary breather. I knew it was wrong to overexert myself after resting –though in agony- for three straight days, but I wasn't going to deprive myself of something I knew my body was waiting for all my life.

Not what you're thinking.

What my body's been aching for all this time, is to be kissed so deeply that I'd able to feel the love of the man doing this rush throughout my body.

That man –whom I'll love forever- is Edward.

I tilt my head slowly, allowing myself to look just like the couples' in movies that kiss and kiss until their heads bob like a bobble head gone haywire. It was amazing to me how there was not one ounce of love he held back, it was all coming at me in a single instant, wishing to consume me into his unresponsive heart.

I slide my cooling hands slowly up his neck and twist his short hair loosely around a couple of my fingers as I eagerly kissed him back.

Sudden jolts of energy thrust throughout my body, making me yank away from Edward's lips in the most abrupt way possible. My lips tremble slightly, wishing to be pressed up against Edward's again, but instead I look down quickly, aware of Jasper staring at us, his hand pressed against the wall as he leans against it.

He sighs and looks down, "Sorry to bother you…" Jasper's voice was calm, but repressed, "But Carlisle said to get you Edward. He wants all of us away from Bella for the time being, so that we won't have to lie as much when questioned about her disappearance…well…death," he finishes smoothly, not entirely bothered by the fact that he walked in on us.

I watched as Edward reluctantly nodded and grabbed my hand gently, and then squeezed it as if to tell me that he'll be back down as soon as he's allowed. I nodded to him, giving him my 'okay' though it probably wouldn't have mattered if I said okay or no.

I pulled myself as slowly as possible to a weak looking bed in the corner of the basement. It looks as if it's been brought to every place they've moved to, and from its old-fashion looks, it was probably Carlisle's bed from who knows how long ago. I forced my body into a comfortable position on the bed and fixed my head up a little so that it rested nicely on a fluffy pillow.

"So…I'm going to just… up and disappear so that no one in Forks can learn about my sudden change. I've always been this pale…well not this pale, but just about," my voice reverberated throughout the room just slightly as I spoke to myself about the days to come. I reached up and brushed my fingers across my teeth as if to feel fangs, though I knew full well that vampires don't really have fangs at all.

"I'll leave behind Charlie… my mother…" I pause for a second and continue on, "Jacob… and all of my other friends. I'd even leave behind the school I finally became accustomed to," I stopped myself again and moved my hands up to rub my eyes to find that the tears I thought were about to come didn't. And never would.

After being in Forks for a relatively long time, I never thought about going anywhere else. This dreary, wet place became my home quite quickly, not entirely replacing the things; I sort of missed when I lived with my mom. I slide my fingers slowly in between each of them, over and over again, trying to rub away the tingling sensation slashing at my nerves.

Then I felt something rattle in my mind; something I should have thought of first rather then coming up with what I'm going to miss. Where do they even plan on taking me when they go through their 'moving' process? Are they going to bring me to Alaska or something? Or somewhere where it possibly rains more then it does here in Forks?

"I don't honestly think that's possible…" I whisper under my breath, before closing my eyes as to let my thoughts over run me like an unstoppable force.

**-Edwards POV-**

The door shut behind me with Jasper's unneeded help and I allowed myself to go into the living where so many incidents have occurred. The utter chaos that's to come from uprooting our lives again are sure to stress out everyone, even Jasper who'll be constantly on alert to keep us relatively under control.

"How do you expect me to act as if Bella died? What's the story we're using? Do you want me to go to school pale? Well that shouldn't be too hard!" My voice was unnaturally loud and it was partially caused by the pain I previously caused Bella. However, the reaction I give them wasn't unexpected; Alice already notified them of my upcoming outburst, so I merely continue. "Did she run away? Get kidnapped? How am I going to go to school…we can't shed tears! I'm going to look like a heartless boyfriend, if any of you haven't realized yet!" I didn't raise my voice any further, nor did I continue speaking, I just stood and waited for someone to speak.

After a moment, I felt Jasper pressing against my emotions, suppressing them to rid me of my anger and irritation. It's easy to notice, but I remained silent, wondering what else they may be gauging about my appearance. I must have looked terrible…even for a vampire.

Carlisle took a seat on one of the coaches in our living room and looked directly at me, staring deeply into my eyes with a look of compassion that instantly calmed me without Jasper's help. I could never disappoint Carlisle again… especially after what happened just days before.

"Edward… after Bella is officially announced missing and pronounced… dead… we're going to move to Labrador City, Newfoundland, Canada," he declared calmly, looking at me as if expecting some quick reaction to make him recoil or something. "As for the story we're using as the 'cover-up', I guess you can say," He continued, "There was a landslide while you were on your camping trip and she was only caught in it because she insisted on staying at the camp while you went fishing for your dinner." He sighed, clearly as distraught by the events as I was. "You won't look heartless… just be quiet. Be more to yourself then normal and if asked about Bella's death be as solemn as you possibly can, that's all I can possibly advise, Edward."

"Alice, you're going to have to be the same way. Although, I can safely assume you'll be very good at it, seeing as how you'd have been upset if Bella died under any circumstances," Carlisle said gently, directing his intention away from me and to Alice. She smiles and laughs, nodding because of how right he was.

I advanced a little closer to Carlisle, looking down the entire time as a form of apology. "Where is this place? Labrador City, Canada?" I asked, curious to learn a little more about the location, rather then looking it up.

"It's quite a cloudy and rainy place. Not as good a cover as Forks, but sufferable nonetheless," he responded, pulling himself to his feet and headed off to his office room.

I glanced at the rest of my family and whispered, "Should I… go downstairs and inform Bella? I'm sure she'd want to know where we plan on mov-," I began but got cut off instantly by Emmett.

"Don't you remember? We can't come in any contact with Bella other then feeding her. We have to get the feeling that she is actually gone, Edward. I'm sure you can last a week or so without being near her," he stated firmly, his voice as loud and deep as ever. There was no mistaking it was Emmett.

Last a week or more without being near her? How terribly wrong he was…

I ignored the comment, though acknowledged it mentally, and headed up stairs, as far away from the basement as possible. I dropped myself onto my bed and stared up at the ceiling, wondering what I could possible do for a week or two. The rage continued to build up inside my lifeless inner body, though I also kept it under control to the point where I didn't storm downstairs all the way to the basement, beg Bella for forgiveness, tell her where we're going to go, and what the story of her death is. Of course, that would be too reckless and I didn't allow myself to do such a thing.

"Labrador City, Canada?" I sighed calming myself a little. After shaking my head a couple of times, I brought my subconscious to a memory to a place back when I didn't even know Bella existed. Back to before she came here. Instantly, I felt my body soothe over and I focused on her thoughts. There was always a barricade in Bella's thoughts, but as I made the attempt for the first time since I'd changed her, I found

myself reading my own thoughts, completely unable to make the try anymore. There was a second, larger barricade surrounding the one that her human body once created.

"It…got enhanced…" my voice trembled slightly, though I'm not sure why I allow it to. Was it the fact that her power was even stronger then it once was that frightens me? The potential she may have can quite possibly be devastating. The barricade was strong enough to block me from this distance, but what would happen if I were right in front of her, trying to read her thoughts. If her power is as strong as it seems… the Volturi won't be able to locate her in a couple of months, when they're set to come. They won't be able to track her in any way because she has the ability to block all their powers. "So…when we move, we're safe from the Volturi. Completely safe from them finding us and everything…" I took a deep, unneeded breath, and rubbed my forehead, sitting up to stare at the door to my room, which was left open just a crack.

The door slid open inwardly as I stared at it and in came Alice. "Edward, do you mumble to yourself a lot? It's been a while since the last time you did this, and that was when Bella first moved down here and you were contemplating weather or not to kill her," her voice was cheerful enough, but clearly she was going to find her answers through whatever glimpses of the future she can conjure up that involve me.

Instantly, she sighed and shook her head, looking at me relatively disappointed. "Edward, the Volturi will find Bella, no matter what we do," at the sound of this, my eyes grew a little larger; obviously she had seen the Volturi confronting us on some level. I remained quiet and waited for her to continue. "You're forgetting that with their extra senses, they don't need to specifically track Bella. They can track _us_."

Of course my idea was dumb and had holes that I obviously overlooked, but she didn't really have to point it out, I would have discovered it for myself sooner or later. "We couldn't block everything like Bella can either. I really don't wish to be confronted or associated with them again; it was a big mistake when I went all the way there that time.

Alice smiled calmly without telling me the reason, she shut her eyes and turned around on her heel, exiting the room. I watched her until she closed the door and sighed yet again. "It's been only ten minutes and I feel like I'm about to suffocate from not being near her…" My thoughts were consumed by the entire event of changing her. The way it happened was the worst, it never should have happened like that. She didn't want it to be that painful. I almost couldn't stop myself. I nearly killed her, yet even after I've apologized countless times, I felt as if it will never be enough. There was no way to ever change what I'd done. That's why I always said she'd be damned for eternity. Leave it to Bella to be changed in a way that she'll never forget.

"I claim to love her… yet for the past year I've been the one to cause her the most pain," I shook my head and fell back on my bed, closing my eyes tight enough to block off any bit of light in my room.

**-Bella's POV-**

I could hardly see anything down in the basement; it was darker in some corners then in it was in others. Not even I was used to being all alone for this amount of time. A week plus may end up feeling like a month to me. I wasn't allowed to talk to anyone in the house or anything; it was like they were secluding me, yet it was for the benefit of all of us. My existence had to become nothing so that we could all just leave. "I guess the story of them leaving will be that there were too many memories of me for Edward to continue living here, knowing that he'll never be able to see me. I'm pretty sure that's it…" I whisper, recognizing that if I keep talking to myself like this I may go insane before they come and bust me out of here.

Slowly, I shove myself to my feet and walk over to a wall. It was completely translucent; on the other side was another staircase, which more then likely led to the back of the house for a quick exit. I let my fingers run across the wall and the feeling it gave off was strange. It felt just like a stone wall; yet it looked like glass. "Maybe… I just think it looks like glass because of my enhance eyesight or something?" I resolved a few minutes later after examining it a little further. There was no door to the other side of it.

My feet lead me to a desk where I sit at the chair and stare in sheer curiosity at the mounting papers and binders. Each one of the black, vinyl binders was filled with page protectors and those protectors all contained papers. Most were articles and documents, telling of how Carlisle was changed and such, mostly like a bunch of diary entries. It was strange to see them down here in the basement rather then in his office where all of his other memories are locked.

Out of boredom and curiosity –though mostly out of boredom- I sifted through the pages, slipped a page out, and read it quietly to myself. That wasn't anything special, so I returned it to its protector and flip all the way to the back to find a sheet of paper that had fresh writing on it; I could smell the graphite; it was nearly unbearable. I really had to get used to the whole advanced senses thing, and fast, otherwise I'll be covering my nose every minute of my life.

I slipped the sheet out of its protective covering and lied it flat down on the table. It was definitely Edward's handwriting, but in a much younger way and not necessarily neat at all. It was almost obviously a rush job. I noticed that it was not exactly fresh writing at all; I only recognized the scent this quickly because of the way it smelt just like Edward.

_'I had a vision last night… I don't know why or how; maybe I was just seeing something when I was browsing Alice's thoughts, but I definitely saw myself biting a girl. She appears to be my age, but I've never seen her here yet in Forks… It could've been my imagination, but I swear she'll be coming in maybe five…six years, tops. I don't know what will make me bite her, assuming the person I saw is me, but still I feel as if I'll know her some how; as if the guilt is already growing inside me like a newly blossoming flower. I feel like I'm too old to be writing an entry into this binder, but Carlisle's told us that it's fine if we don't want to verbally voice our opinions, but if we instead put them in writing it'll allow us to get the feelings off our chest. Writing that is very insignificant but… biting someone, it's unheard of. The Cullens' don't feed on people, ever. Carlisle wouldn't permit something like that to ever occur; I don't remember him ever giving us an exception. _

_Is it possible we'll change somehow?_

_Will we convert to true vampires like the Volturi he's told us about?_

_I guess these things are pointless to talk about now, but for some reason it seems like this event in my future will mean much for me. It'll mean more then I'll ever have time to think of, for now, I'll ignore it. I'll forget this ever happened and pretend that girl doesn't truly exist. I don't have any hints as to who she is, so why try to figure it out? _

_ Edward_

I read this under my breath a couple of times and shook my head as to tell me exactly what it is I'm looking at. "Edward… saw himself change me before he ever really did it. Maybe… that's why he had so much trouble doing it in the first place? Is it because he didn't want what he saw to come true because it would mean that things he may have seen previously or afterward are a possibility?" I sighed and groaned under my breath, deeply annoying myself.

This must be what vampires do with their spare time. We probably just talk to ourselves over and over again to sort through our thoughts and memories for answers. Edward's confusion over everything must have been caused by flashbacks of the vision he saw. "I wouldn't blame him for acting the way he did; now that I've seen why… assuming what I read is why he was like that…" My voice was strangely calm and soothing, I didn't remember a time where I was actually able to listen to myself talk and have myself calmed by it.

**-Edward's POV-**

I heard Alice's voice ring throughout the house, smacking my ears like a bee stinging at someone's skin. She was shouting for me to come down, so, reluctantly, I obliged. My feet shuffle slowly down the stairs and I stop, seeing Alice looking at me with an urgent expression.

"Edward…you look terrible," and for some reason, beyond me at this moment, she smiled. "Good, good. Charlie's coming," her voice died off a little. As would mine if I had the _privilege,_ of announcing this to everyone.

"When's he going to be here?" I ask, rubbing the back of my head a little to stretch.

Alice closed her eyes and sighed, "He'll be here in ten minutes. Edward, just look as distraught as you possibly can. We need to convince him that Bella's…," she pauses and groans, trying to rid herself of her sweet voice; she was already preparing herself to go into depression mode. "Dead." Her voice was flat as she muttered that final word.

How do I pretend that she's dead? How can anyone ever request me to do such a thing, its insane! No one could ask me to do that; it's as if I could imagine my life with her gone. When Charlie gets here I'm telling him that we have her in the basement, that she's getting her clothes ready to go home.

Those ten minutes were the quickest of my entire life. Alice opens the door, responding to the pounding on it and says, "H-Hello…" in a voice that depicted so much sadness that it would've made me gag if I planned on having Alice get angry with me.

"Where the hell is my daughter?" he roared, instantly annoyed, as if he didn't recognize that it was Alice standing in front of him.

I walked over to the door, and stood behind Alice. I could hear her thoughts and she was talking to me. _Go on, Edward. Tell him that she tripped and fell off a cliff or something when you went hiking. _ I glared at her coldly, hoping that Charlie didn't notice and stared directly into his eyes. "I'm going to tell him, I don't care what everyone else wants, I'm speaking the truth," I told myself mentally.

"Charlie, she's…"

_**---**_

_**---**_

**That's Chapter 10… pretty cool right? Ha…. Now you're all probably gonna kill us cuz of the cliffhanger… right? Wrong! You know why you're wrong? Cuz if you kill us, who's gonna finish the story??? Your mom? Ha! I laugh at that!**

**So umm… (cough) yah… sorry! I'm super hyper! (laughs)**

**AGAIN---Hope you all enjoyed the chapter! Kyo wrote it all cuz I was way to busy with some projects for school, but I DID contribute ideas and criticism. )**

**Love to you all!! Have an awesome turkey day Thursday! **

**Love,**

**Suma Susaki**

**&**

**Kyo-k40-Sohma**


	11. Life's Problems Part ONE

**-Under the Stars-**

**By Suma Susaki**

**&**

**Kyo-K40-Sohma**

**Hello everyone!! Omigosh, we cannot believe that we haven't updated UTS in almost half a year. We're so incredibly sorry, and to make it up to you, this chapter is going to come to you in parts. We were going to make this chapter super long (30, 40 pages) but we decided to just give you the first part since it's been so long. **

**Thank you all for sticking with us, even though we've been in la la land lately. For a few months, Kyo and I hardly had time to talk to each other, and then school has just given us crap loads of homework after piles and piles of stress added on top for mid-terms and such… not to fun. Thank God for Spring Break :)**

**Here's chapter 11, part one! Hope you all like it, please review and tell us what you think of it!!**

**Also, thank to all of you have reviewed, added me (Suma) to your favorite authors, or author alerts, and for adding the story to alerts or favorites. Means a lot everyone. **

**_Chapter 11: Life's Problems Part 1_**

(Edwards POV)

I swallow involuntarily and look at the ground, unable to speak while looking at Charlie's worried face. "Bella's… she's not alive, Charlie…" I peeked up for a moment and swiftly rushed my head back down. What my eyes consumed was that of Charlie's face shifting from angry to depressed within two seconds flat. "You see… I went into the forest with her on a camping trip and-..."

Before I have the chance to continue on with my story, Carlisle is in front of me and whisking Charlie away, arm across his shoulders as he guided him to the living room. "What happened, Charlie, was that I got an excellent job offer," he paused, his eyes meeting Charlie's stunned face. "In Europe… during that camping trip they went on, Edward was going to… break the news to her. However, the moment he did so, she took off deeper into the forest… where…" Carlisle did a false pause, using his index finger and thumb on his free hand to rub his eyes. "Where Edward… later found her crushed under a landslide…"

The instant Carlisle finished his fabricated story, Charlie broke down and dropped to his knees at Carlisle's feet, sobbing uncontrollably and mumbling incoherent words.

I watched as Charlie's body began to shake. His arms were twitching uncontrollable to the point where he couldn't even return himself to a standing position. I stared at the ground I stood on, amazed by how a fabricated lie such as the one Carlisle conjured up could be believed to the point of visible loss of sanity.

"I'm sorry Charlie…" I mumbled under my breath, Alice eyeing me with a stern look.

_Don't you dare break down now, Edward. We have Charlie believing us, just relax a little… _I heard Alice chide me, and I was unable to ignore it with her knowing I was listening.

_I won't…_ and when I thought this, I tried to project my frustration into her thoughts.

Carlisle knelt down hesitantly and for the first time, I recognized how great of an actor he was. _Incredible…_

"Ease yourself, Charlie... It'll all be okay. I'll call up Renée for you…" he whispered to Charlie, using the most comforting voice that he could possibly conjure up for this occasion.

Charlie's head looked up, meeting Carlisle's eyes even though they were trembling with shock. "C-Carlisle… I can't continue on … I've lost everyone… My daughter; the one most important in my life is gone now!" his voice rose, angered by his impunity. "I should've been stricter…she knows not to just up and leave like that… I should have checked out the area they were going to…"

Suddenly, I recognized the regret in Charlie's tone. It crashed on my shoulders even harder then gravity and urged me to fall to my knees as well. Alice and Jasper watched me struggle, unsure of what to do.

I then felt my body soothing, and whipped my eyes in Jasper's direction. He nodded, confirming that it was him that erased the pain. Of course, who else could it ever possibly be?

(Bella's POV)

I was able to hear the commotion going on upstairs, but forced myself to ignore it, even though I was fully aware that my father was up their with the rest of the Cullens'.

My eyes flutter back to the binder and I turn the pages a couple more times, until I discovered a curious entry; one by Alice.

_"Dear Alice," _I read aloud, wondering why she'd address the entry to herself. It became more obvious as I read on. _"It seems as if every time I see Jasper I feel affected by him. He mumbles how he isn't using his power on me, but I can't help but feel more towards him then just him being a new member of my family. What is it about him?" _

I stop myself and shake my head. She sounds just like me the way she questions the ability to like someone.

After flipping through a few more pages, I unconcealed another journal sheet by Edward.

_" 'Dear ?,_

_There's a new girl in my school. Big deal? Yeah. I can't take it. Her scent, it's just… I don't know what it is. No matter how far away from her I may be, I can't get her smell out of my nose, it's horrible. I hate her. Hate. You have no idea how hard it is to hold back the urge to just kill her. To just spill her all over the classroom and quench my thoughts. It's killing me right now just thinking about it. I'd never smelt anything so satisfying in my life and now that I have…I want it all for myself. I refuse to share my discovery…or whatever you want to call her. Problem is… she already has acquired too many stupid friends and that'll stand in my way of stealing her. And if that doesn't stop me first, then her clumsiness will. It's embarrassing; I don't know why God gave her two feet if she doesn't know how to use them properly! _

_…Edward…' "_

I rubbed my eyes and reread what he wrote. It's not that I didn't already know that he felt this way about me when he met me, it's just that reading it stings at my heart. Not that mine should react to the pain seeing as I'm -more or less- dead.

Not even two seconds later –though the entry still pinned to my mind- I go to the last page in the binder, yet again one written by Edward's hand.

_" 'Dear…ah whatever,_

_I'm taking Bella on a camping trip. It's pretty much a test for myself… I want to see how long I can stand beside her and be near her without feeling the urge to take a bite. _Just_ a small bite; even if it's only a taste. No…No. I wouldn't do that. I'm strong enough aren't I? Strong enough to ignore the hunger that comes along with being a monster… Maybe… _

_Mostly, however, I planned the trip for Bella. Simply because she's been hinting at it for nearly two weeks. _

_It's sad…I've merely written two sentences and the thought is back. I'm afraid. Afraid! Terrible thing to feel, I know. I know in my mind that I couldn't ever live without Bella and if I made a damned mistake, I would -without a doubt- be living that way. There's nothing at this moment that could ward off the terror of my revelation at this point… I'll just have to stumble in it I guess… _

_One thing is for sure. I will be angry if I make a mistake. Taking her life and molding it to fit the ways that I am accustomed to… I can never let that happen to her. She doesn't deserve to suffer the same way that I do… Never. I'd take my own life fir-… Never mind… you know what I'm about to say anyway… _

_…Edward…'"_

I couldn't help it; I slammed the book shut and pushed it as far away from me as I could across the desk. "What a hypocrite!! That damned boy says I should tell him _everything_ and when I ask for him to do the same, he creates journal entries rather then telling me!" my voice hollered to the extent where my throat began to burn and beg for me to stop my yelling. Instinctively, I rub my temples a little to soothe myself.

I began to finally calm down; give or take a few minutes where I tossed that binder off the desk and putt it back on it over and over again. "It's okay…It's okay, Bella. It's a journal, you had a journal too, remember? It's okay for him to keep secretes, same as you did," I chided myself and then drop my hands to my side, staring at the staircase in shock.

"My… journal…" my voice trembled with disclosure. "Oh-no… I left… we left it behind near the camp grounds…" I couldn't believe it. Of course, it was still there, Edward rushed me here at top speed for he knew my life depended on it. Sadly, he didn't have the chance of snatching my stuff…I guess…

With a thud, I drop to the floor, just lying there with my eyes shut. "I want to be able to hug him again…" I whispered to myself, wrapping my arms around my waist in longing. "No matter how angry I get with him sometimes… I love him. I _love_ Edward."

I missed him terribly despite my sudden increase in anger from reading his diary entries. I could still feel my dead heart fluttering with desire in my chest. It happened every time I thought about him and spoke or thought his name. My heart would dance around like a little kid with ice cream from the Ice Cream Man's truck. Every time I'm not with Edward… I feel like the little girl who dropped their ice cream and doesn't have enough money to buy a new one…

"Just a little while longer Bella… just a little while longer in the eternity that is now life…" I whispered, trying to console my despair. I hugged my knees closer to my chest, imagining my new life with Edward with closed eyes.

(Edward's POV)

I shook my head in an attempt to rid myself of the images my eyes consumed. It was unusual –almost as abnormal as our own existence- to see someone of Charlie's caliber falling apart right in front of my eyes. I kept telling myself that it was all an act; an act similar to the one's Shakespeare wrote, but it wasn't. I knew it wasn't. Shakespeare wrote of the human condition, but it wasn't real. What's happened now is and I played the role of an executioner, as I was the one who drew the axe on Charlie's heart.

Charlie collapsed to the couch, weeping endlessly with Alice at his side, rubbing his back. I found it sickening. Nearly insane. It was my fault again, as always. I had caused Charlie enough pain to last him a lifetime.

And for that I decided to suffer with him. I delved deep into his thoughts, taking in all of the pain and suffering.

"I lost the only other woman in my life…my own daughter…in the town I wished for her to come to. It's my fault… again… I ruined my family… I _ruined _my life single-handedly…" suddenly, Charlie's thoughts stopped as he looked up to see my eyes resting quietly upon him.

His voice rumbled from his throat as he roared in my direction, "This is your entire damned fault!" Charlie swung his arm around, knocking one of my dear mother's lamps to the ground. The loud shatter silenced my family, but only for a moment.

"Charlie…please, sit down… you're being reckless. You must realize how you are sounding," Carlisle pleaded, gesturing back toward the couch as Jasper aided him by trying to soothe Charlie at the same time.

Charlie refused to listen to reason as his voice rose again, ignoring Jasper's urging. "No! Damn no! If Edward was there, he could have gotten you! You could have saved my daughter, Carlisle," he insisted, though we all knew his suggestion was easier said then done. "You're a doctor for Christ's sake! You could have made everything better! She wouldn't have died! None of you gave a damn about my daughter, did you!? She was just some girl that your stupid son fell in love with for the time being!"

I looked up from the ground and stared at Charlie, hurt on the inside for the first time in a while. "I… I can't believe… you accuse my love for your daughter as mere infatuation… You know that wasn't so! Charlie, why are you acting this way? Do you think we won't miss her as much as you? Because I know for a fact I'll miss her more then you or anyone else!" This was when I realized how foolish I must have sounded to my family. We knew she wasn't really dead, but my voice became raspy with sadness as I spoke to Charlie; I nearly believed my own lie. But instead, they all glanced down with depress laden looks on their faces.

My rant seemed to have done something to Charlie. I guess I'd proved to him my former –and still burning- love for his daughter to the point where he finally cooled off his hot head.

"Three times now, I've been left… Once by the separation of my marriage with Renée and twice by Bella –once she ran away… and now she's gone forever…" he choked out his last words, rubbing his temples as he directed his eyes to his feet. "I'm leaving this place too, now… somewhere far, far away from this wretched town. Away from this wretched state. This entire place has brought me is pain and heartbreak; nothing good except for a career that doesn't offer much. I need to escape…you understand…?"

By the look of Alice's stunned expression, Charlie continued, "Of course…I'd be staying until Bella's funeral…"

Charlie yanked his head upward, trying to get his eyes to fit on the image of my entire family. "I'm…terribly sorry…to have reacted the way I did…it wasn't the adult or right thing to do. Edward… Bella loved you more then she has ever loved anyone. Even more then Renée and myself…I didn't mean to say what I did… I just wasn't thinking clearly," he explained and the tone of his saddened voice struck us in the gut.

Carlisle waved his hand to dismiss his apology. "You don't need to apologize. We understand where you are coming from; well, Esme and I do at least. I know for sure that if I'd ever lost any of my children, I'd react the same way," he flashed a sorrowful smile.

(Charlie's POV)

Renee and Phil arrived at my doorstep half a week after I visited the Cullens mansion. Renee was devastated. The second she walked into the house, she was sobbing into Phil's shoulder. A pang ripped through me as I saw him holding her tight in his arms.

After all this time, I still couldn't get over Renee. Seeing her, hurt like she was, I just wanted to hold her like Phil was in my doorstep. The same doorstep I had carried her through after our marriage. The same doorstep that led into the same house that we shared for years as a married couple. The same house that we were in when Bella came into our lives.

I shook the thoughts out of my head. Past is the past, no matter how much you want to change it. I walked over to the two and grabbed 1 of the suitcases.

"I'm sure you both want to relax after such a long trip. Please follow me." I nodded towards the stairs, and Phil guided a more calmed Renee to the stairs. After sixteen stairs up, I turned left, watching Renee and Phil from the corner of my eyes. I could see Renee eyeing Bella's room's door with a blank face.

I kept the door shut now. I didn't want be in there and mess up her things, even though I know that she would never be able to yell at me again for doing such a thing. Walking past the bathroom, we went into a room similar to Bella's, just down the hall. Setting the suitcase down on the bed, I turned to Renee and Phil with a sad smile.

"Please make yourselves at home. I'll go down and make dinner now. I'll call you down soon." I said softly, before touching Renee's shoulder, and shaking Phil's hand and exchanging quick "Nice to meet you"'s, I made my way down the stairs, hearing the whispers of my ex-wife and her new husband.

It was then I heard Renee scream, and footsteps running across the hall upstairs. Surprised, I made my way quickly up the stairs once more, only to come face to face with Renee in Bella's room, sobbing into her comforter, as if it would make all the pain go away. Phil stood in the door way for a second, watching his wife break down, before he slowly made his way to her side, and sat on the bed with her, caressing her hair comfortingly.

A few tears escaped my eyes for the life I've missed. No wife, no little girl…

Slowly, I walked down the stairs once more and into the kitchen. Pulling out three boxes out of the refrigerator, I set them under the microwave hanging on the wall. Reading the box over once, looking for instructions, it said:

"_Frozen Microwave TV Dinner"_

I couldn't take it as I re-read those words over and over. I slumped down into a nearby kitchen table chair, and wept just like Renee was upstairs, except in my case, there was no one to comfort me but the ticking of the clock above to table.

**End Chapter 11: Life's Problems Part 1**

**ok, so i'd be wonderful if you could update for us! it seriously helps us write, and it inspires us to do so better. Thanks again everyone for reviewing! **

**Suma Susaki && Kyo-k40-Sohma**


	12. Life's Problems Part TWO

**-Under the Stars-**

**Suma Susaki**

**Kyo-k40-Sohma**

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_Helloooo everyone!!!!!!! How is everyone this fine Thursday? Hope all of you are well:)_

_This chapter took a little longer than we thought to finish… and I ended up asking Kyo to finish it for me… as I sorta had a tumble with my health again. (sigh) It's all fine and dandy now though, so next chapter I'll defiantly be writing again. (pushes Kyo out of the spotlight)_

_So yah… I don't exactly have time to do a individual review thanks, as I have a Choir Concert in a bit, but please know that all of your reviews are amazing and this story wouldn't be anything without you—the readers! (haha…)_

_Thanks to all of you who have kept with us the entire way, and for those of you just starting to read, thank you as well! _

_So here is the next chapter, or at least the second half of the last one…._

_Review's make us happy!!!!!! (hint hint)

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_**Life's Problems **Part Two_

**(Edward's POV)**

I could feel my eyes as they fluttered and beat beneath their lids. It was more then difficult; my situation, I mean. As I stood in the middle of the living room, I could recall every passed moment. I reviewed Charlie break down and yell at my family and myself. I _lied_ and said I told the _truth._ I can't remember another moment where I was put into the position of doing so.

Alice, Esmé, and Rosalie scurried around the house, covering every inch of the ground at least three times as they packed bag after bag with luggage for our move. I decided to just ignore all of this and head upstairs to scrounge up some clothes for Bella for when she needs them.

Then I found myself smacked across the face with revelation. "Dammit…" I mumbled, cursing my stupidity. All of the girls clothing was for Alice, Esmé, and Rosalie. We had absolutely nothing for Bella to change into when we move to Labrador City.

"Alice!" I hollered as it poked my head outside of her room, only to be face to face with her before the 'ce' of her name had the chance to drop from my mouth. "Ha…you knew I'd do that, didn't you…?" I asked and then just ignored my own question. "Never mind that…. Bella is going to need clothes for when we move to Canada. A bunch of long stuff so that we don't stand out like a sore thumb by walking around in short sleeves." I flashed Alice a smile that made her recognize that the annoyance in my voice was all fabricated.

Alice grinned as I imagined little stars appear in her eyes. It was hard not to think like that when around her. "Of course! I'd love to! This'll be so much fun! The three of us girls can go out and you boys can get this place all packed!" She smiled wide and didn't give me an option to object as she ran downstairs and gathered Esmé and Rosalie, _packing_ them into the car without informing them of her plans.

"Great…Now I actually _have _to work… Why did I suggest it…?" I groaned, though I knew full well that it had to be requested at some point.

**(Alice's POV)**

I kept getting this unpleasant and nagging feeling that we'd have an unwelcome encounter at the mall, but I ignored it quietly. We drove and chatted back and forth, making gradual small talk. They _knew_ I was deep in thought, it's just something that has become obvious when I get quiet, I suppose.

"Alice…" I heard my name come through as a hypnotic tone.

I ignored it, just as I got more advanced flashes of a vision. _Thank god Esmé is driving… even with my quick reflexes I think we'd have crashed or hit a couple people by now…_ A throb rushed into my forehead but I shook it off as the car swung into the parking lot.

For nearly two and a half hours, we shopped. My fellow family members flew in and out of various stores that were exclusive to the mall. It was eerie that the feeling I'd gotten before arriving was getting me worked up for nothing. We'd yet to have even a small encounter with _anything _or _anyone_ for that matter.

_Oh, Alice…stop getting so worked up… Have fun! We're out shopping for Bella!_ I chided myself but it didn't stop me from racking my thoughts for clues as to what was about to occur.

"Alice, how do you think this would look on our dear Bella?" Another voice filled my ears; I really needed to pay more attention. It was Esmé of course. Why would Rosalie ever say 'our dear Bella'? I lifted my head up and looked at Esmé who had the blouse pressed up against her body in an attempt to model it for her.

The blouse was a dark red, slightly low-cut in the front. The long sleeves were slightly separated as if it'd come straight from Shakespearian times, yet it looked awfully delicate and beautiful. _Intriguing…_ "I think it'd look amazing on her! Snatch it up!" I used the sweetest voice I could muster at the time and it seemed to convince both my _mother_ and Rosalie. That silver-bell voice of mine paid off when it had to.

"Isn't that the Cullens? Alice? " an excited voice made our heads perk up and whip about. We'd been mentioned; noticed. I swear I recognized that voice as a student from school. It was a male, no doubt.

I looked around and that's when I saw a small group of four humans standing and gawking at us. I stared back and swallowed an unneeded clump of oxygen. _Mike… Bella's friend…_ As I opened my mouth to respond to their questioning, Rosalie grabbed my arm by the elbow and turned me around, mouthing a 'no' and that's when I remembered we were about forty feet away in the middle of a loud store that had rock music pounding at the walls. _We shouldn't be able to hear them. Right._

They walked towards us, bobbing and weaving through groups of people as they did so.

_Mike… Jessica… Lauren… Angela. That's their names right, Alice?_ I asked myself and as they got closer, it clicked and I confirmed the answers to my question.

Mike smiled weakly and waved slightly. "Hey Alice, hey Rosalie. Hello Mrs. Cullen," his manners were a quick hit with Esmé but then again, it was in the nature of all mother figures to adore those that were polite, was it not?

"Hello… Mike?" I mumbled back, curious as to weather or not they recognized the uncertainty in my tone. _Oh well… they're not too bright…_

Jessica leaned in closer and whispered to them so that passerby's couldn't hear them. "Have you seen Bella lately? I haven't seen or talked to her in nearly a week!"

I felt myself tense up a little but I eased my shock by telling myself that Bella was in fact fine, but the lie had to come out. Esmé and Rosalie respectfully bowed out of the conversation and walked off to browse through more clothes, carrying about ten bags.

I rubbed my forehead and looked at the ground, trying to force myself into depression. _I hate this charade… being all upset over nothing… Oh Edward, you just had to change her in the middle of a vacation, didn't you?_ I felt my insides laughing a little and I looked up at them, their eyes lightly met my own.

"Jessica…" _Thank God I remember her name…_ "Bella… she… died…" Suddenly, I found myself retelling the same story that Edward and Carlisle fabricated and watched as my words tore open the hearts of the humans in front of me. It was terrible… but necessary…

Their eyes bled tears of pain and sorrow in an instant. I'd single handedly created a crime scene of a sort in the middle of a major store in the mall… that was a first. They uttered random memories and moaned in pain, the girls hugged each other supportively.

That's when Mike decided to speak up.

_Some of them _are_ smart…?!_

"I don't believe you…" his voice was strong but shaky. He was frightened to believe his friend had suffered such an unfortunate demise. _Smart kid…_ "As a matter of fact, I _refuse_ to believe what you told me is the whole truth! Bella can't be dead! Isabella Swan _can't_ not be alive," Mike stuttered but recovered his words.

"Mike… she's _gone,_" I discovered that uttering those words and talking like them made myself sound even more convincing, so I did just that.

He shook his head and tightened his hands into fists at his sides. "I want evidence. I want proof…"

I quietly dismissed myself from their huddle a quick ten minutes later and found myself driving Esmé's car back home with my mother and sister. I kicked it into high gear and sped off away from the mall, guilt gnawing at my insides.

When we arrived back home, I found my mind doing summersaults. _How could one person gather enough evidence to make our story backfire? Can he do it? Could Mike actually acquire enough information from Edward and Bella's campsite…?_

**(Edward's POV)**

The basement stairwell remained silent; nearly crypt-like. I stared at the door that led to Bella. It just taunted me. It had seen more of her over the last three days then I have in the last week. My eyes were glued to the doorknob. Was it that I longed for her soft-skinned hands to wrap its delicate fingers around the cool copper handle and open it to reveal a beautiful girl? "Of course…" I mumbled to myself and stood up from their chair, my hand directed to go through a few loose strands of hair to put them back in their place.

Carlisle walked right passed me and avoided any eye contact. He headed for the basement door and instantly I could feel my hopes rising as high as my ears. "You're letting her out?" There was undoubtedly an excited smile on my face.

As I approached the door with him, Carlisle turned around unexpectedly and stared at me. His hands found my shoulders and he looked at the depth of my eyes. "Edward… I'm not letting her out yet. I'm just checking up on her. I haven't so much as seen her since you both arrived home after the 'accident'…" his voice depicted consideration but also a hint of chilled down annoyance.

"Please Carlisle… I have to see her. With each lie of a seed that I plant, I start to believe it's going to grow into the truth! I _need _to see her. Don't you think I haven't seen her for long enough?" I pleaded with him, never before had I ever felt so disgustingly low; but in the end, there would be a pay off. There _had_ to be.

He studied me silently and turned me toward the door. "Come _with_ me…" Carlisle whispered and I bound for the door ahead of us, rushing towards the room in the basement where Bella was.

I found her lying in her bed, her face burrowed deep into the pillows. She heard us walk in, of course, and with that, she sat up, her face red with frustration. Until she saw me, that is.

At first, her reaction was hesitation. She was on her feet quickly but the she stopped and stared at me for a moment. "Isabella…" I whispered, a haunted smile across my lips. I'd done this to her… _I have to make her comfortable in this difficult situation…_

"Edward…?" she asked as she took cautious steps in my direction. I nodded and that was what did it.

Bella ran at me and lunged for me. Her arms locked around my neck and I firmly kept her in my embrace. _I'll never let her go… I'll never hurt her again… _My arms tightened slightly around her waist as I thought this. It wouldn't hurt her though, the tightness that it. We're both the same monster now… sadly… and we could do as we wished…

"Edward… oh my… you have no idea…" her face buried into my shirt and I couldn't completely understand what she was saying, but that was probably caused by the fact she wasn't speaking understandable English. "I've missed you so much… I didn't think you'd ever co-."

My eyes reflected my shock as she looked into them. She looked down at our feet and didn't continue. "Don't… Ah, Bella… I'd never just leave you like that… Well… I mean…" I had to stop… I'd done it before, so what could possibly stop her from thinking I'd pull the same thing as last time.

"I just want to be with you forever…"

I smoothed her hair back and stared into her eyes that would have melted my heart a thousand times over if I'd not been a vampire. "We can't _not_ be together forever now…" As she smiled, I felt relief flush over my entire body. No doubt, she had felt the change in my posture. I'd shifted a little as I told myself to calm down. The sight of her smile could be a remedy to any disease.

I'd completely forgotten we weren't alone in the room and Carlisle pulled Bella from my grasp. For a second, I nearly lost control of my emotions. I had almost growled at Carlisle.

"How are you feeling?" I heard Carlisle ask and Bella reply with a soft 'Better now…'.

My focus was elsewhere by then though. On the desk off to the side was the binder. It was opened and turned to an entry. I walked towards it purposefully and peered down at it. _D-Did… Bella read this…? _My eyes scanned the entry over a little more then once and horror tore across my face. I could feel it. Her fingers had touched this spot at the bottom right corner.

I turned around and found both Carlisle and Bella watching me. "What are you doing, Edward?" Carlisle asked and then shook his head. "Never mind that, spend time with Bella, it's clear you both need some time together…" he said and exited the basement, locking the door behind him.

Bella opened her mouth to speak but I spoke quicker. "You read what I wrote… didn't you?"

She nodded and looked down, apparently ashamed at being caught. Her body dropped to the bed in a sitting position.

I approached her carefully and took a seat to her right. Closer I got, my lips formed the words beside her ear. "I'm sorry… Bella… do you forgive me for being stupid…?" I needed to hear her. I need to know she was okay with my indecision and dumb experiments.

Before speaking another word, I listened as Carlisle thought something meant for me to hear. _Edward, her transformation went perfectly. She's fine. Keep your thoughts open and listen. You need to be ready for anything._ I kissed her jawline softly, and pulled her into a hug.

"It's okay Edward… it's fine…"

As she pulled away, we stared at each other, longing to do more. I leaned toward her, intent on kissing her on the lips for more then two seconds. As I got closer, I found my heart wanting to pound out of me.

_Edward! _

I fell back and got up. "I'm sorry… ah damn…" I'm so stupid…I should have just ignored it for a second.

"Carlisle… Reneé tried to kill herself. She's in the hospital right now after attempting suicide…" Carlisle listened to this and shook his head a little.

"Look, Charlie. I'll head up to the hospital and make sure I have the best doctors there for Reneé. We'll be working at the top of our game as always," Carlisle reassured him and got his things together as they said their goodbyes.

"It's fine…" I heard her say and I smiled at her as I sat back down. "How's your week been?"

I flashed her a smile and looked at her hands as I grabbed them. "You'll be glad to hear I've been a depressed and a mess," I watched her giggle and it made me feel better about the entire situation. "How about yourself…?" my words seemed choked out. In truth, I didn't want to know how she'd been. Recounting all the pain and terror she'd had to suffer would be horrible for the both of us.

"Hmm… I've been bored out of my mind, not to mention completely alone, scared, and different," she replied. She'd planned on asking about the journal entries and about her journal that she'd left in the forest, but she left that out for now, just plain happy to be in my presence. Those questions would be asked at a later time.

With my eyes locked on her, I held her in an embrace as we lay on the bed. "Your mother and Phil are living with Charlie. They're all in their own little kind of support system," I explained carefully, not wanting to add that they'd all had breakdowns of sorts. "And… Alice, Emmett, and Jasper went out to create a landslide as evidence."

Only a few moments passed before I leaned over her and began kissing her neck. Between kisses, I whispered my worries. "Thank god it all went correctly…" I mumbled, kissing her and soon enough, my words just stopped.

"I missed you so much, Edward," I heard her say more then once between her slight gasps. "So, so much…"

After a few minutes, I was kissing her on the lips. I couldn't help it. I'd lost control of all sense and found myself agreeing with her missing me by making the kissing more and more heated. Her arms were wrapped around my neck, grabbing at my hair. My own hands were at her waist and as things got more hectic, I opened my lips on her mouth and she did the same.

Then it all stopped.

_Edward!_

I panicked and my eyes grew wide. I'd just stopped. I looked down at her and she whimpered, begging for more. How much more could we possibly do before I just couldn't stop?

_Edward… Reneé tried killing herself… I'm going out to the hospital now to get some things straightened out. Tell Bella._

I rolled to the side and lay there, staring at the ceiling. She hugged me tightly, her head rested on my chest. She'd forgiven me for my slight panic attack. I stroked her hair a little and whispered. "Bella… I don't want to be the bearer of bad news… but… I stopped because Carlisle interrupted my thoughts… Your mother… your mom –Reneé- she tried to kill herself…"

She stiffened and didn't say a word. Not a single word for nearly twenty minutes. Shock, fright, and grief washed over her. She drowned from head to toe in dreaded emotions.

I whispered in her ear trying to reassure her with sweet talk. _How could one family attract so much trouble… They're like a bunch of human magnets… It definitely runs in her blood…_I thought as I held her tightly.

"Is she going to be alright…?" she gasped finally.

I pulled back a little and looked into her pain-filled maroon eyes. I wouldn't lie to her and with that, I recalled Carlisle's words. "No… Bella. Carlisle says she's in critical condition… that she may not have too much time left…"

Bella just nodded and buried herself against him, her body trembling terribly with sadness. I held her firmly in my arms to comfort her for that's all she really needed right now.

**(Jacob's POV)**

I sat there in front of Sam, Quil, Embry, Jared, Paul, and Emily. They knew exactly what I wanted to do; they were just waiting for me to say it so they could justify their reasons for wanting to kill me.

"I want to find out what really happened to Bella…" I began hesitantly and then I let my instincts take control. "I don't believe a single damned word those Cullen's are spreading. I overheard Charlie telling my father Bella was killed in a landslide while camping with Edward…" I snarled as I said his disgusting name.

"We would have known of any landslides, it's in our nature! It's all a lie! I want to know what happened to her! I want the damn truth!" My anger had risen to a point where it even frightened Emily. This made Sam get up abruptly.

He looked me over and laughed under his breath before speaking in a foreboding tone. "I forbid you from looking for her and further investigating this situation. Did she not flat out tell you that she preferred the cold ones over us, Jacob?" he reminded me and I glared coldly back at him. "Searching for her would also mean breaking the treat by treading on _their_ land."

I wasn't prepared to stand for rejection and I didn't. I lunged at Sam, the anger taking control.

We fought for twenty minutes, pounding each other to a point where we both nearly changed. Our clothes were tattered and torn. If it weren't for Quil, Embry, Jared, and Paul, it wouldn't have stopped until one of us killed another. They pried us apart and held us back and I yanked myself from Quil and Embry's grip, and hurried toward the door of Sam's house.

**(Mike's POV)**

I sat there and while I did, my fingers shook with mystery. How could anyone study at a time like this? I couldn't focus; no, I _wouldn't_ focus. It must have been clear to Jessica, Lauren, and Tyler while we studied that I was uneasy because they all dropped their pencils in their books and shut them.

Tyler stood up abruptly and fell into a recliner beside all our school things. Studying –at least today- was out of the question for all of us.

"It's terrible… ya' know… I can't believe she's gone…" Jessica's voice filled my ears and two pairs of shocked eyes locked onto Jessica.

_She just had to bring it up… As if any of us can believe what happened…_

I cocked my head up from the trance and I stared at Jessica. Was it disgust that dawned across my face? Lauren crawled over towards me and rubbed my back to comfort me, but I brushed her away and stood up. I leaned back against the nearest wall, the one beside the entertainment center, and watched as Jessica covered her mouth, finally aware of how much her words tore at me.

"Jessica…I don't believe one word Alice said…" I mustered up the strength to speak and voiced my opinion. Not only did they gasp but also they gawked at me. Could they not understand my thought process?

_I'll help them to understand…_

"Don't you find it strange that her body wasn't released to the public? That it _won't_ be released even to be seen by her parents?" the questions sprang from my throat and I couldn't hold it back. "And isn't it funny that there was not a single reporting of a landslide? I mean, there was one, but not until after Alice told us about Bella's incident a few days ago. It doesn't make sense," I paused to recollect my thoughts. I had more to say and they were going to listen. They had to. "I think Alice and the rest of the Cullens' are withholding something… something really important. I don't think Bella's gone…" there it was. And it'd stay in their minds, I had made sure of it. They wouldn't forget what I said, no matter how hard they willed themselves too.

Tyler was the first to speak after my rant. And he'd spoken words that made sense to me. It made sense to everyone.

"Okay… I was… actually thinking the same thing after you all explained what happened…" Tyler stopped and glanced around the room, he wanted to be sure everyone was paying their undivided attention to him. "I think… that maybe some of what they said _did_ happen. But… I think Edward saved her; he's pretty fast you know… Anyway, what I think happened is that Edward took her back to his house for his dad to have a look-see. They couldn't have had time to gather all their things if Bella had gotten hurt."

Jessica spoke just a moment after him after absorbing his words. "We should find their campsite! We'll take whatever we find their and pull off our own investigation. We can figure out what actually happened!"

My head perked up a little more, or maybe it was ears, either way, their enthusiasm drove my spirits upward.

"We'll find the campsite and gather her things. Then, we'll confront the Cullens' about their obvious lie," I had them on my side now and nothing would change that.

Lauren rubbed her forehead, finding all the information just a little hard to consume. "Maybe we should think more about this first. Do you honestly think Edward would just sit quietly at home if something actually had happened to Bella? Maybe we should just pay them a visit," she suggested, but we all shook our heads in unison.

After school next day, we shoved ourselves into our cars and took off down the road, heading towards the trails and camping grounds just a little outside of Forks. Nearly twenty minutes later, I arrived at the beginning of the trail only to soon be met up with by Lauren, Tyler, and Jessica.

We searched around, up and down the trail before giving up after two hours of searching. For a few minutes, we sat and stared down the empty trail. Nothing. Absolutely no sign of them ever being here at all.

But, that was before Tyler tripped and stumbled upon a long trail of snapped branches and footprints that were wedged deep from running in the muddy soil. A torn piece of clothing was one thing we found while we carefully followed the trail all the way too one spot in the forest.

A rusted smell filled our noses and we covered our faces with are arms. It smelt like iron. "What is that? Ew!" Jessica exclaimed, stumbling back and shaking her shoe clean off, using Tyler as a way to stand and keep that bare foot from the ground.

"It's…blood…" Tyler whispered. "It's a lot… a lot of blood," he mumbled, and stared in utter shock and discomfort.

We stumble along farther, too queasy to stay around the puddles of blood, and find ourselves stopped dead at a dark creek like river that flowed through the clearing that we stood at now.

My eyes didn't deceive me. I knew what I saw nearly ten feet away from where we stood. A book lie precariously atop and in between dried out and dead leaves, mud, and soft piles of dirt. The curiosity was tearing at my insides and I was the only one that spotted it at first.

I jogged over to it, being careful not to step on it accidentally, and fished the book out of the muck. I wiped the cover –both sides- clean and free of dirt and flipped it open.

They could see my hands shaking and my body trembling. But, how could it not? What I held in my hand depicted many possibilities…

Tyler, Lauren, and Jessica walked closer to me. "What do you have there, Mike?" I'd heard my name. It was Lauren that spoke, right?

"It's… Bella's diary…" I managed to whisper and they stood stunned, barely looking over my shoulder at the book that vibrated in my hands from all the trembling my body was doing.

**(Jacob's POV- Occurs at the same time as Mike's)**

My back tore open on impact and I could feel my skin ripping from end to end, as I slammed against a tree. The blood sped down and I could feel my body becoming consumed with fur. It provided me warmth to some degree and made the nauseating feeling of hot liquid melting through your wounds just a little less painful.

_Calm down, Jacob. Don't make me have to resort to killing you…I don't want to, believe me, but if you leave me no other choice, I will not put our pack in danger!_

I heard his voice fill my head and I was outraged by the words he formed. In the near distance, I saw Sam's body shift and transform and come at me. I snapped back at him as he got closer and then took off down the shoreline.

The others were following me behind, changing instantly as they gained on me. But then they'd suddenly stopped. The rain was pouring and I'd finally realized just what I'd done. They stopped with reason.

Not too far away, I could hear Sam howling and in my head I heard them chiding and yelling at me.

What'd I'd done was something they'd held fast to over the many years of their existence.

I crossed the line of the Quileute reservation. I stood still and turned around to see them in the far distance. A couple times, Embry thought about darting after me, but each time he was convinced otherwise.

I now stood on the land of the Cold Ones. I'd broken the treaty….

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_Oh snap… what's gonna happen now??? (we know! we know!)_

_Ok… so thanks for taking time out of your lives to read this, I understand how stressful life can be most of the time… lol. Especially lately. _

_Thanks for the reviews guys, means a lot! _

_Suma and Kyo_


	13. The Note

Under The Stars

THE NOTE

Hey guys, I'm so sorry for this authors note, but this has to be done… lol

Kyo posted the last chapter (part 2!) a week or so ago while I (Suma) was in the hospital dealing with health problems mentioned in part 1. And I honestly don't think any of you got an alert because Kyo did it, instead of me (idk why, but fanfiction has really been having some problems lately). I would know because I myself get an alert saying I posted it.

And so, with that being said, I'm writing this authors note to all of my readers and reviewers (which qualifies for some of you, but not most of you) because I really don't want any of you confused when the next chapter comes out, when it comes out.

No—we haven't started it yet, since I was in the hospital, I have been having all these problems. I'm getting better to all of you who are curious, and thanks for wondering. : Kyo and I have hardly talked since she posted it for me, and so I'm asking for a bit more time.

Be patient with us alright? We're not vampires; we're only human.

Thanks guys! Keep reviews coming, alright? Means a lot.

Suma Susaki


	14. I'm Pathetic

**Under The Stars**

_**IMPORTANT AUTHORS NOTE FROM:**_

Suma Susaki

Ok, so I know you all hate me now. I mean, another authors note. I'm pathetic.

I'm extremely sorry that it has been nearly 3 months since we've last posted a chapter, but in my defense, I had summer classes! (horrible excuse, but it's true)

But to all of you who are wondering are there any wonder-ers out there???, Kyo and I have officially created the outline for the next chapter.

And we're excited.

This next chapter will be a huge-non-plot-filler-chapter of them all.

We get a little bit of everyone in it!

But I would like to know, Kyo and I are having a problem coming up with more scenes for the next chapter.

And although, I know you all have NO idea what's going to happen next, we would absolutely LOVE it if you told us what you want to see more in the story.

More Edward and Bella? Jacob? Anyone else? TELL US!

Thank you all so much for sticking with us even though we haven't exactly been doing our jobs as authors.

Please review and tell me what you think, alright?

Lot's of Love to all of you!

And a late Happy Fourth of July to all of you whom live in the United States!

Keep up the reading everyone,

God Bless!

**Suma**


	15. CHAPTER 13:: The Power of Her Words

**Chapter 13: ****The Power of Her Words**

**-Suma Susaki- **

**& **

**-Kyo-K40-Sohma **

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**This chapter was typed mostly by Kyo-k40-Sohma (just call me Christina, lol) There were reasons this chapter took so long, but are brought to your attention out the note at the end of the chapter.**

**Hope you Enjoy! Suma is so much better at typing these beginning things!**

**_P.S: Renée's_ name may be messed up at times. MicrosoftWord was being weird. I think i fixed 'em all tho! Enjoy!!!**

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**(Charlie POV)**

I stood with Phil at the very entrance of the doctor's office. I couldn't stand the wait any longer; my mind was about ten seconds from floating off the deep end. Phil paced beside me, worried to death for his wife….-worried to death for my ex-wife…

"Phil…what happened…what'd she do when she got the news…?" I managed to ask, hoping to create a conversation that would take my mind off of at least some of the bad things that had occurred in the last few days.

He stopped his pacing abruptly and looked at me, his eyes hollowed slightly from exhaustion and anxiety. Phil appeared to contemplate his answer, running his hand over his head, rubbing the very top just for a moment. "She… just stared at the nearest wall, blank, for an entire hour… Renée couldn't believe her ears, or maybe she just didn't want to. But…" he paused, rubbing his eyes wearily, "then, shortly after, an overflow of tears and incoherent screaming came…"

_I couldn't even be there for her as an ex-husband for our own child… what kind of person am I…?_My head was suddenly killing me. I couldn't ever be there to comfort Renée, and yet, in that exact situation, it didn't seem like Phil could either…

"Where is Carlisle Cullen?" I found myself asking allowed all of the sudden. He had to be here. Was it possible that he actually didn't come to work today?

A nurse perked up a little at the sound of his name from behind the counter. She drew open the sliding plastic door and I turned my attention towards her. "Dr. Cullen is off today: due to family reasons…"

"Family reasons?! You're kidding me! My wife is in the damn emergency room and my daughter just died! And _he_ has family reasons? What the hell is the matter with him!" I erupted. There was no stopping my slew of words and harsh callings. It was as it was.

Phil stared at me, aghast, yet he looked at me with understanding at the same time. He knew he'd feel the same way had Bella been his own flesh and blood. Phil, I knew -I could tell- loved both Renée and Bella, but his love for Bella wasn't nearly as strong as it had potential for.

"Sir…. Dr. Cullen's son, if I recall, was dating your daughter… and his family was very close with her, if I can remember correctly. Dr. Cullen spoke very highly of Isabella…" the nurse whispered calmly, trying to help me regain my train of thought. It worked a little, but I needed so much more right now then to be reminded of how much Carlisle's family adored my child…

****

**(Renée's POV --Hour earlier)**

_I can't hold on anymore… my marriage failed before…and then my parenthood followed. I can't take this. I need her. I care for her so much. Why did you take her from me? Why did Edward allow her to be taken from me… _The thoughts rushed back and forth, much like the birds in the sky as they searched for food.

My face was buried deep into the pillows on her bed, her scent still fresh on the pillowcases. I wanted to cover her with my arms and protect her. I shouldn't have let her go so far away from me… I should have been like a mother bird when her little chick tries to fly. _Let her go when she's ready…_

I passed out, suddenly. Phil -I could feel it in my subconscious- carried me downstairs and with Charlie's help, we drove off to the hospital.

****

**-Half-hour Later-**

I rested, conscious now on a bed in the emergency room. The smell of sterile doctors instruments filled my nose and replaced the familiar scent of my daughter. I fell into a state of panic; the nurse's hand tightly gripped my wrist to keep my relatively calm. The beeping of the heart-monitor was growing annoying. I wanted it to stop. It had to stop. I wanted to see my daughter… I wanted…. to _see _her…

_I want my daughter…I want my baby girl…_

The nurse's voice filled my ears and then I realized finally, what was being said. "Her vitals are in a flux, doctor. She's not stable. At all."

I heard the doctor's reply, loud and clear. "I don't like the looks of this…" his eyes were fixed on the heart monitor. The blips were coming quickly and furiously, tearing across the little black screen in a blur of green lines. My heart was racing like a run away train.

I watched as the nurse and doctor scurried out of the room, foolishly shutting the door behind them. Someone who was considered unstable…was in fact unstable…

**(Doctor POV)******

"Yes, Carlisle. No. You have to get down here. Bella Swan's mother's current condition is not good. Yes…she's at the hospital. At first, we thought it was just a mild migraine from the stress…but her vitals, Carlisle, they aren't stable at all… Fine…fine, we'll handle it…"

**(Renée's POV)******

I yanked myself from the bed, tearing away the various things that were connected to my body and scoured the draws in the room. A scalpel found its way into my trembling grasp and I slid it over my wrist. In the same instant, one -out of two- of my nurses enters and pulled the weapon from my grasp, tossing it into a 'Hazardous Wastes' garbage pail.

In no more then an instant, she had my wrist tightly bandaged to apply pressure. _I didn't cut deep enough…I'm still….I'm still here… _

An emergency surgeon was on his way in, applying quick stitches to the wound. One doctor notified Charlie and Phil of my condition, while the other made a call to Dr. Cullen, begging him to come in.

-**Currently **(Carlisle's POV)-

I arrived at the hospital, tugging on my doctor's coat from a hanger in the lounge. Quickly, I hurried off to the second floor of the hospital, navigating my way to Bella's mother's room.

I had to ignore Charlie and Renée's husband Phil as I came by. If I didn't, who knows what further maladies would occur.

I entered the emergency room where Renée was located and looked at her as she rested palely in bed. A half second later, the scent of blood rested faintly at my nose. Her wrist had been slashed. _She tried to kill herself…she really tried… What have we done…? Edward… this is a bigger mistake then I first thought…_

Renée grumbled quietly in her sleep, her head turning as if fighting off a bad dream. "Bella…no…no…I want you to stay here with me… you don't have to go live with your father… Phil and I won't move…just stay…don't leave me…Please Isabella…."

My eyes instinctively widen a little as I listen to her mumblings. Her condition was becoming more and more apparent. But what could I possibly do now. Should I claim to have revived her daughter? Or that my adopted son converted her into a vampire? Or… or maybe I should just reveal our deceit…. No. I couldn't make this any more complicated then it already was. We'd have to stick with our story…

**(Mike's POV)******

"There must be some answers here…" I whispered, loud enough for my accomplices to hear. The shock of just discovering the diary was enough to put us all into a year-long coma, but sleep was much preferred.

"We have to read that, later…" Tyler suggested and if any of them new the extent to which I agreed, they'd be nauseated. More then anyone, I wanted to pry the cover open and read the words that Bella scribed. More then all of them, I wanted to learn the truth and save her… She had to be alive. Somewhere.

Jessica rubbed her arms, getting slightly chilled thanks to a few whirls of wind. "We should set up tent, it's annoying to carry around all these bags…"

"Away from the blood…" Lauren added, holding her nose for affect.

Jessica pulled her digital camera from her bag and looked at the blood, disgusted. She turned the camera on, and then the flash, and started taking photos of the evidence before us. Blood was spilled everywhere. Even I agreed that we had to get far from this spot, at least for the night. Intelligently, she took pictures of the surrounding area as well, revealing there was no cliffs or ledges capable of having a landslide within a mile.

A few hours pass as we trudge through the woods in search of a clean spot to set up camp. Eventually, however, we pitched up our tents and allowed the darkness of the woods to consume us, though it wasn't what we really wanted.

I sat by myself against a tree as the others finished spiking their tents to the ground. I left Tyler to aid the girls. The curiosity was becoming far too hard to resist and I ran my fingers over the book's delicate binding. Flipping the diary over, I do the same thing again, this time feeling indentions.

I slid my index finger underneath the back cover, and opened it. There was a note scratched deep into the bindings of the back cover, though pen was used. Whoever wrote it wanted it to remain there forever. My eyes fluttered over the words and I read them more then once. Four times to be exact.

"'_You live your life to the fullest, and that is not measured in length. Being human gives you the ability to stride forth and continue life as if anything can happen. People don't live just to know that they will live forever; people live to know that at any moment their life can end. As bad as that sounds, it is how life should be.' _"

One tent collapsed as I read this for the fourth time. I got up, shoving the diary carefully into my jacket pocket as I stride in the direction of my friends to help them get the tent back up.

_I'm not reading anything inside that book, unless the others are reading it with me. All extra heads can help all of this make much more sense… _

We had one, large central tent where we all sat together in a circle. A discussion of what we'd found early sprung into play and we talked about the endless stains of blood and the diary, and the fact that Bella being killed by a landslide was, not only unlikely, but impossible.

Jessica shook her head as she saw me draw the diary from my jacket. I shot her a questioning look, and received an answer before I even had the chance to so much as even blink.

"We shouldn't read her diary, Mike… it's a violation of her privacy, even if she is…dead…"

I wasn't going to give in; not that easily. The anger was bottled up inside me and I decided to just slightly uncork it. "Do you have any idea the information we could learn?! She could be alive out there! I don't think she would care if us reading her diary means we're going to save her life, Jessica!"

He paused. They still needed convincing; all three of them. "We could get so many answers to the questions I've…we've been asking! Just listen to this, '' _You live you're life to the fullest, and that is not measured in length. Being human gives you the ability to stride forth and continue life as if anything can happen. People don't live just to know that they will live forever; people live to know that at any moment their life can end. As bad as that sounds, it is how life should be.' _What the hell does that sound like to you? Do you have any idea what else we just may find!?"

After hearing the passage from the back, Tyler and Lauren jumped on my bandwagon. Finally, Jessica gave up, deciding she was too tired to argue over something as unimportant to fight about as that.

I had begun to open the front cover of the journal, but abruptly stopped. The four of us looked around.

Jessica looked at me and whispered for us to all hear. "Did you hear that?"

"Something's out in the trees…" Lauren mumbled, but it wasn't something we didn't already know.

A loud howl filled our ears. It was coming from a wolf. A very… _very_ large wolf. Twigs began to crack violently and our ears were beginning to sting a little from the sound of it. It didn't sound like simple twigs snapping, it sounded more like entire trees.

On the opposite side of the meadow, across from their group tent, exited a massive wolf from the trees. Jacob Black.

**(Jake's POV)**

I spotted two girls peeking out of the larger tent and snarled as I heard them shouting. "It's one of those huge wolves! One of the one's that are killing the hikers! Dammit! I don't want to die!" the girls yelled, diving back into the tent after taking only one look at me.

A familiar face remained still just a couple yards ahead of me. I'd been somewhere with him before. With Bella, too. _His name…what's his name…_

Mike.

My eyes perked up as I came to that realization. Then, something even more intriguing had caught my eye. That _something_ was tightly grasped in Mike's hand. Inscribed on the cover –I could see this with my enhanced vision as a wolf- was the name of the woman whom I loved so dearly. Bella. The letters were even in her handwriting, I could smell her scent on it. Then, I was further sickened to face that Mike's disgusting smell was nearly done masking hers.

He was frozen, he wouldn't try to escape and if he did, I'd just have to claim all of them. By whatever means necessary, I needed that book. I needed, with my own to eyes, to see the words she pressed into that paper and binding. I hated knowing that I'd stumble upon her sickening confessions of love for the _bloodsucker,_ but that wouldn't stop me.

I was going to find the damned truth; weather I'm supposed to or not.

As I got closer to those who remained outside the tent, I snarled in their face. The way they recoiled in fear made me laugh. They feared me just as they should. If only I could get those bloodsuckers to admit their fright of me. They knew I could destroy them: I'm the only species that can.

Mike's hands trembled and I snatched the book from his sweaty hands. Instantly, Mike leapt to his feet and tried pummeling me, though I shook it off and snapped at both him and his companion.

I suppose I'll have to steal them for a little while…to see what they know… to see if they may know a little bit more then myself.

**(Phone Call. Third Person POV) **

The phone's blaring tone filled the air once. Only once.

Alice's hand grasped the receiver and she held it to her ear, the cool plastic getting even colder in her hand. "Hello, wolf…" she whispered, her voice weak and lacking the bell-like chime that was signature to her.

On the opposite end of the phone, a voice responded, gruff and serious. It was Sam, the leader of Jacob's _wolf pack_. " Hand the phone to your leader, bloodsucker."

"He's not here," Alice practically hissed in return, "Why are you calling?"

She could tell by the way he was breathing that Sam was frustrated by Alice's tenacity towards him. After a couple moments pause, Sam's voice returned, "Jacob into your territory in a fit of…rage. He doesn't believe that Bella is truly gone."

"You're telling me… he _broke_ the treaty…?"

"Yes, unfortunately. We _did_ try to stop him, no doubt of that. Now, I want to know-" as cold as his voice was, Alice wasn't going to put up with his questions when she didn't need to.

In an icy tone, Alice cut him off. "Carlisle, _isn't_ here. Bella Swan is dead," she grew quieter and snarled at him, "How _dare_ you dogs call this house and bring up such damned painful memories!"

"You and I both know that's a complete lie, Bloodsucker! Something happened! _Where.is.the.leader.of. !?_

In a monotone voice, Alice replied reluctantly, "The hospital. And if you _must_ know why, mister nosey, Bella's mom attempted suicide a few hours ago. I'll have Carlisle call you," and she hung up.

**

* * *

**

**That marks the end of Chapter 13. Suma & I beg you for your forgiveness, and hopefully, your understanding. Things have been really hectic and Suma and I kept playing Email tag. I'd been at the doctors a lot for a stomach virus and unusually weight loss (I'm better now) and Suma was at the hospital for pain caused by tumors. We're far better now and hope to get the next chapter out quicker.**

**  
We're incredibly sorry about the lack of Edward & Bella. There were many scenes planned for them, but we wanted this chapter up for you and we decided to cut this chapter short before more ailments catch up to us. **

**Much Love! Hope you enjoyed this chapter! **

**Kyo-k40-Sohma & Suma Susaki **


	16. Chapter 14: Fate

Suma Susaki

**Suma Susaki**

**Chapter 14**

**Under The Stars**

**Wow, you guys… I'm so dreadfully sorry that it's taken me almost 9 months to get this to you. I've been going through a lot, and so it's been incredibly hard to write. If you guys give me lots of reviews, I will have some kind of recognition that I have to update lol.**

**I'm sorry this is so short, but I'm just throwing some things together spur of the moment so you all can have something to enjoy.**

**Oh. And this is going to be entirely Bella and Edward for you all :)**

**Give me reviews okay? :)**

Chapter 14: Fate

(Edwards POV)

"Edward?" Bella's angelic voice broke the silence that worked its way into the room after the news of her mothers attempted suicide.

"Yes, my love?" I held her closer to me, doing my best to comfort her.

"I don't regret falling in love with you. I don't regret the fact that me becoming a vampire happened the way it did. I'm extremely glad it happened. I know you must hate yourself, but please, just don't." her voice grew upset, and I didn't know how to respond to her. I was lost by her words, and I kissed her forehead, knowing that she would continue talking.

She pulled away from me, but only enough to look into my eyes. She gave me a sad smile that made my dead heart ache, and then she put her hand onto my cheek.

"No matter what happens, it's life. It's destiny. What happened at the meadow, that was a twist of fate that in the end, brought us closer, and is giving us the opportunity to live together, until the stars fall, and the sky collapses over or heads. What's going on with my parents, it would have happened eventually. It hurts me that this is all going on, but it's out of our hands. What they do, it's their decisions. We can't feel guilty for what fate has done for us, and what it's done for them." She lightly kissed my lips then, and all I could do was pull her closer to me.

_How could I have ever gotten this perfect woman to fall in love with me?_

"I love you so much, my beautiful Bella. I wish I could take the pain away for you." I searched her eyes, to make sure she was truly being honest with herself. She looked at me seriously, and rested her forehead onto mine.

"Just being here with me Edward, makes me feel better than you could ever imagine." She smiled at me then, and I couldn't help but smile back. I decided then it was time for a subject change.

"So, guess what I have planned for the day?" I asked her, rubbing circles on her back. For a second, she froze and looked alarmed. The next second, she opened her lips.

"Are you going to go visit the hospital?" She asked, softly.

"Of course not." Her eyes lit up at that, and I couldn't wait to continue.

"I'm going to spend the entire day, and hopefully longer, giving you company. I've missed you so much, and every time I've had to tell someone about the news of you dying, I've only believed the lie myself, as time has passed. We're going to do whatever you wish." I couldn't help but smile at her reaction. She squealed and wrapped her arms around my neck tightly.

"I am so relieved to hear you say that. I've missed you more than I ever imagined possible. For awhile there, I thought I was going crazy…"

"You? Crazy? That's impossible." I hugged her back with as much force as I could muster. It was so comforting to know that I could no longer possibly hurt her.

She laughed at that, and I felt the heavy air that was in the air quickly dissipate.

"I love you. More and more each second of every day." Her voice grew passionate, and loving. I knew for a fact, that in that moment, I would die if I couldn't kiss her.

I quickly pushed her back onto the bed, and raised my body over hers. She gasped and stared with cloudy eyes up at me.

"I love you too, incredible. For all eternity. Until the stars fade." I kissed hungrily up and down her jaw, and then moved to her neck. She moaned in pleasure, and it only made me want to kiss her more. I could lie here until the end of time, and be the happiest man in the universe. I reluctantly pulled my lips away from her neck, and raised them to her ear lovingly.

"So," I said in a husky voice, "have you decided what you want to do today?" I pulled away, and looked deeply into her eyes.

"You dazzling, teasing vampire." She grinned up at me. "I'm going to have to punish you for that." I was surprised at the emotion that flickered in her eyes, and opened my mouth to speak to her.

"Oh yeah? Two can play at that game." And with that, our lips crashed together hungrily.

I can't tell you how long we kissed, how long we tossed and turned trying to gain dominance over the other, but after what seemed like weeks went by happily, we finally broke apart.

"Can we call it a tie?" Bella asked, breathing heavily.

"Only if you promise me that you wont ever leave my arms." I compromised, my breathing similar to hers.

She smiled hugely, and my dead heart would have fluttered if it were still beating.

"I swear on all that is good and decent in the world, that I, Isabella Swan, soon to be Mrs. Edward Cullen, will never leave your arms." It was my turn to smile.

"We'll be married as soon as everything blows over. As soon as we move."

Bella then surprised me by saying, "You know, the whole marriage thing doesn't sound too horrible anymore. Sharing your name would be the greatest thing to ever happen to me."

I kissed her again. I couldn't help myself. She kissed me back, and we entered into our own little world of happiness.

Forever suddenly didn't sound so bleak to me.

**Well, I really enjoyed writing this chapter, so I hope you all enjoyed reading it! :)**

**Like I said above, I'm so so very sorry that I haven't updated in so long. I feel horrible about it.**

**So please, if you review, I will try my hardest to write chapters much much much faster for you.**

**I love you guys! You're the best for putting up with me! :)**

**Suma Susaki**

**Ps. Just call me Sara, okay?**

**Please REVIEW!**


	17. iloveyou

Hello! Long time no update?

I'm sorry to all of you for not updating this story. I feel absolutely horrible, and I don't deserve to have any of you reading this right now to review. As most of you know, I wrote this story about a week after Twilight was added to Fanfiction, and as you can all probably tell, this story is extremely out of date compared to Stephenie Meyers incredible saga.

I'm sorry to tell you all that I've decided that this story is finished. Eventually I might come back and continue on, but it's so hard to write more on an outdated story while the saga moved passed it and is now finished.

I hope none of you hate me for this, but I promise that I will try extremely hard to write more stories for you all, if that is something you would be interested in reading.

Let me know what you think, and I will get back to you ASAP, promise.

I love you all, you are great people for reviewing and reading this story. It means a lot to me, more than you would know.

Hope you are all having a good day!!

-Suma Susaki-


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